Get Off the Boo Boo

The Rap Grammys - You Ready?

2008-08-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

The week we have all been waiting for - or at least I have been waiting for - has finally arrived. The 2008 Ozone Awards will finally be aired on MTV Jams. Sports fans had the Olympics. Movie fans had Batman. Now Hip Hop heads have the Ozone Awards.

Last summer, the 2007 Ozone Awards was clearly the pinnacle achievement in MTV Jams history. The production quality was mind-blowingly poor - to the point where it seemed that if you just rented out an auditorium and made up a bunch of completely meaningless awards - like Hustler of the Year - you could get all of your Southern hip hop heroes in the same building. Keep in mind this is an event that happens in real life, not in a Chappelle Show skit like the Player Haters Ball, but the Ozone Awards really happen. It's like believing in the tooth fairy and then once a year, every summer, you turn on tv and there she is, making it rain...everywhere.

On the Side: In elementary school it was comic book characters. In middle school it was wrestlers. In high school it was professional athletes. Now it's rappers. I never would've guest this as the evolution of what sorts of characters I idolized but it sort of makes sense.

Comic book characters, for the most part, are all from or live in an alternate galaxy or have some personality trait or power that removes them from the 'real' world. Well, I'd have to say wrestlers, professional athletes, and rappers are all like comic book characters in the way that they don't really experience the same world as we do - hence, we are not the same/i am a martian.

In summation: On the new T-Pain and Lil' Wayne song, Pain sings, I can't believe it/ she all on me/ like she wants me. At the end of the day, the Pain does believe it cause he lives a life somewhat removed from reality and that's why kids wish they could be Wolverine and I wish I could be T- Pain.

More On the Side: Now that comic books have officially gotten the stamp of approval from Hollywood, when are rappers, I'm talking aside from Biggie, going to get their big screen bio-pics? Would you rather see DMX in Karate Kid 6 as a cop or would you rather see The Evolution of Dark Man X - from crack pot to rap legend to crack pot? I mean it's a no brainer.

Last On the Side: I just got the new Game cd LAX. It begins with an intro from DMX. Many people have questioned this move and how Game came to this decision. I think the answer is quite obvious. Game clearly listened to the first line of X's Flesh of My Blood, Blood of My Blood, which like all good opening lines of classic albums, gets you ready for what you are about to deal with, in this case a dog-obsessed murdering necrophiliac. With no further ado: I got blood on my hands and there's no remorse/I got blood on my dick cuz I fucked a corpse. Game, in a moment of lucidity, definitely heard this and said yo, I need this dude to start my shit off right. Also, keep in mind that DMX used to be all over TRL and he still said shit like that to kick off his (multi-platinum) albums. That is not giving a fuck. Might even be Ozone Award Hustler of The Year worthy...maybe.

My favorite moment of the 2007 Ozone Awards:

- Killer Mike being so overcome with emotion after winning Street Album of the Year that it seemed all it really took was an Ozone Award to justify his last three years of independent grinding. Do yourself a favor and watch his acceptance speech GRIND TIME RAP GANG! BANG BANG BANG! Last summer we used to watch his speech over and over again before we went out drinking on weekends. This usually just resulted in the late night screaming of BANG BANG BANG! I FIRED MY BOSS AND BECAME A BOSS! For some reason, girls did not understand what we were referencing, or actually that we were even referencing anything. Also, keep in mind that I Pledge Allegiance to the Grind beat out Da Drought 3 for the award so go cop it.

Now, the Ozone Awards have already occurred and been written about but I have done my best to avoid it. Like the people who DVR'd Olympic USA Men's Basketball Games and spent the following day avoiding the water cooler and internet so that they could come home and watch the game as if it hadn't taken place at 3 AM, I have done my best to stop myself from finding out as much as I can even after learning such amazing tidbits of information like Mike Jones got punched in his face - before the show even started! - and still went on to present an award with DJ Khaled. How does one, in the aftermath of getting punched in the face, go on to stand next to DJ Khaled yelling his bullshit into a microphone and not punch him in the face? I look forward to finding out.

On the side: People always say everything in offices goes down at the water cooler. I, having not spent too much time in an office, have always assumed this is true. In one, of the two, offices I worked in, there wasn't even a water cooler because the company gave out free water bottles. Was this a move of kindness or just an attempt to nip office banter? Anyway, I sat in the back corner of my office, my cubicle next to the communal trash can. All day I would be woken up by people shooting trash in my direction only to come bend over right next to my desk, pick up a dirty wrapper or tissue and say 'I really thought that one was going in.' To which I would say, BANG BANG BANG! From then on they mostly just placed their garbage in the bin.

I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!

2008-08-23T13:18:00.000-07:00

There were a lot of things that could have gone wrong with the movie Tropic Thunder. The facts that Ben Stiller doesn’t make funny movies anymore, and that Jack Black isn’t that funny, were two major potential pitfalls lying ahead of this movie’s trudge through the stagnant neck high rivers and engulfing rainforest jungle that is big budget major studio production. However Tropic Thunder showers down laughs like napalm, and fire bombs the audience with scene after scene of classic comedy gags and situational humor.

The argument could be made that making a good parody is easy (except for the people who made Epic Movie.) All one needs to do is draw on images and situations that the audience is already familiar with and put a funny spin on it. It mostly comes together for a laugh…mostly.

So despite this movie’s satirical built in humor, it is the cast that really makes this a very funny movie. In risk of ruining the “wait, is that Tom Cruise?” moment you may have while watching the movie, his performance is worth noting. His portrayal of a beefy, hairy, pit-stained, millionaire movie producer with an affinity for hip hop dancing and berating his employees has some redeeming qualities. Actually it’s just satisfying knowing he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Ben Stiller again nails the role of an entitled dumbass who takes himself too seriously but finds out it’s lonely at the top (i.e. Zoolander and Dodgeball.) Jack Black is also funny if not damn believable as a Heroin addict struggling through withdrawal in the middle of the wild. Along with that, the brief glimpses of how Black performs his character in the movie within the movie are also great.

However, give Robert Downey Jr. an Oscar. His portrayal of an Australian actor playing a black dude is hilarious. The way his character makes fun of racism towards African Americans is reminiscent of a Mel Brooks film. On paper the jokes aren’t that good, and the dialogue between the real black dude in the cast and the fake black dude played by Downey is only funny at times. However the way that Downey delivers his lines is priceless. His rendition of a black guy during the sixties is a copy and paste from a blaxplotiation movie complete with Black Panther militant bravado. The icing on the cake is that the audience is also aware that Downey is playing an Australian, playing a black guy, in the most stereotypical form. It’s better than chicken and waffles…and not being able to swim.

The laughs don’t even stop there. Wait till you see Ben Stiller go full retard, it’ll be playing in your head movie all week. The only criticism I have of the film is that there were no scenes of the end product of the movie in the movie. I would have loved to see how they took the footage of all the unexpected situations and slapped them together in post production to make the film. Other than that, this movie is worth seeing. And I wouldn’t be surprised to see Robert Downey Jr. right next to Heath in the best actor category.

Grand Theft Movie

2008-08-13T17:26:00.000-07:00

Video games are the new movies. I don’t mean video games are going to replace movies. There will always be movies being made, and there will always be movie theaters. Even though these days the target audience for certain movies are more likely to get high as shit, illegally download it off the Internet, and watch it in their apartments; people will always pack the theaters for a movie worth watching.

I mean video games are the new movies. When comparing a “next-generation” video game (i.e. PS3 and XBOX 360) to a newly released movie, they both exhibit the same kind of storyline, character development, action, drama, and visuals.

What adds to this movie-like effect is that video games have become so extensively detailed that they look as realistic as a Youtube video. If you’ve played a video game in the past two years you know that they have come a long way since Duck Hunt.

Aside from the amazingly life-like look and feel of video games, they even have realistic consequences to every action. Don’t walk into the fire or you’ll get burned. Don’t get shot in the head or you’ll die. Don’t try and steal your money back from the hooker until after she’s dead…just like in real life. This slathers on even more believability and uber-realism that sinks its hooks into the player and totally engages them in the character and the story. Directors can only dream about an audience caring so deeply and identifying that much with the main character in their movies.

So now that video games are basically interactive movies, what does that have to do with the realm of actual movies? The short answer is money. I’m not talking about money that video game rentals will take away from DVD rentals. I’m talking about money that production companies will spend on creating these advanced video games, and the money that people in the movie industry should be making from them.

According to the video game website kombo.com, the estimated budget that Rockstar Games spent on making the 2008 release Grand Theft Auto IV was 100 million dollars. The budget of Saving Private Ryan was 65 million dollars. That means that it took around half the money it took to program a video game as it took to produce one of the most epic war movies of all time. And Rockstar didn’t even have to blow up any tanks…in real life

But where does all that money go. First and foremost it goes to hundreds of programmers to create a totally realistic world within the video game. However video games also hire directors to oversee many of the creative aspects of video game just like a movie director does. And that money is well spent. The cinematic aspect of video games is a major reason that sets them apart from video games of the past. The similarities between a video game director and movie director’s decisions about shot selection, cinematography, lighting, and any other creative elements are almost identical. Just watch a cut-away scene from Final Fantasy XII on PS2, or watch someone play Rainbow Six: Vegas on XBOX 360 and you’ll think you’re watching a movie.

Video games also employ a sound department to create the same sound FX and sweeping scores that rival a Spielberg film. Judging by how alike these two mediums are in their creative foundations, it would make sense that the next step would be employing actors to star as the main characters in video games. Providing a voice over for a video game requires theatricality and acting ability. Why not get proven professional actors to play parts and add even more depth to the video game experience.

Imagine if the Rock’s next vehicle wasn’t a kid’s movie where he’s some bullshit ex-marine turned traffic cop. Imagine if instead he starred in the next big budget action game. Or what if Brad Pitt was the main character in an all new role playing game series? Audiences go see their movies because they like the character and identify with the actor. Wouldn’t a whole new market of moviegoers be more apt to pick up a game if they can play as their favorite thespian, or former wrestler turned Scorpion King, or whatever?

Actors are missing out on a big pay day if you ask me. They already do advertisements and have sponsorships to make money. Why not sell their faces personalities and performances to video games. I’m surprised even Samuel L. Jackson hasn’t made the leap and that guy is literally in every movie. Every single movie. The off chance that he’s actually not in the movie, only means that he was in the movie, but his part was cut out and sitting on the editing room floor.

Picture this. It’s Christmas 2010 and an ad for Grand Theft Auto 5 comes on and it’s staring Clive Owen, directed by Martin Scorsese, with music by John Williams. I would buy that shit in a heartbeat. Then you see a commercial for the newest extension of the Resident Evil series being “produced” by Quentin Tarantino (whatever that means anymore). It’s a video game marketing wet dream and would mean dollar signs for everyone involved.

However realistically that might not happen yet and I can understand why. Famous directors would be a bunch of babies and claim some kind of purist attitude towards their art and would rather spend their time hemming classic films instead of messing around with games. No one better ask Michael Bay though, because he actually might do it.

But just like everything in the world ever, the only constant thing is change. In 50 years maybe the new breed of director will also be well versed in video games and it will be commonplace for them to have their hand in game production. I mean c’mon, just having a name like Martin Scorsese attached to a gangster video game series like GTA would be fucking cool. And it would probably be just as cool for a famous director from the next generation to be involved with a video game too.

I for one would like to see Shia LaBeouf star in the next first person shooter. That way if I die in the game it will be a win-win situation. Or maybe I’ll get Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Video Game, and systematically kill every character in that movie by subjecting them to giant ant attacks because that fucking movie fucking sucked. Despite all the ridiculousness in that movie, the part with the vine swinging, and those fucking monkeys is inexcusable (if you haven’t seen the movie, don’t)…I mean what the fuck.

Either way the world of video games is virtually limitless. With video games gaining more respect, recognition, and legitimacy as an art form, it’s only a matter of time before video games and movies mix completely.

Yet no matter how realistic and life like video games become, it will always be comforting to know that if I ever run out of bullets in my AK, I just have to walk over another gun to automatically reload. That’s right, I don’t even have to bend over and pick it up. Nothing that stupid would ever happen in a movie.

One man's war against the myth of socially important music

2008-07-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

Music has never affected social change.

At its best, thematically topical music has reflected the culture at large, encouraging and maybe even contributing to an existing sense of dissatisfaction and desire for social change. But even then, it hasn’t changed any minds. Most of the time, political musicians just preach to the choir (excuse the cliché). When Bob Dylan sang, “Come mothers and fathers throughout the land, and don’t criticize what you can’t understand,” young liberals nationwide rejoiced, because they had found a voice in popular culture for the shared feeling in their hearts. But mothers and fathers throughout the land didn’t stop criticizing what they couldn’t understand. Mothers and fathers throughout the land said, “Turn off that hippie bullshit and get in the car. We’re sending you to military school.”

A lot of people see the 1960’s as a triumph for the idea that music can change the world. I just don’t see it. I see a bunch of young people rightfully unhappy with American culture and government, and reacting against those institutions by taking lots of drugs, fucking, and giving the thumbs up to vague sentiments like “give peace a chance.” I have no problem with any of those ideas or activities—in fact, I encourage them—but let’s not pretend that the music of that era was a powerful social instrument. It wasn’t. It was art made by the discontented for the discontented, and if you analyzed its social messages independent from the music, it was simplistic and inarticulate. Even if a group like Country Joe and the Fish utilized particularly sharp, clever satire to voice anti-war attitudes, it was all still the same vague ideal-pushing; they didn’t say anything that could actually be operationalized. In fact, not only has music never affected true social change, but no popular group has ever produced music with the potential to affect social change. Why? Because you can’t shoehorn sufficiently thoughtful political discourse into the structure of Western songwriting. If you try, you wind up with either an awful song that sounds forced and soulless, or a brilliant political manifesto rendered completely ineffective by the fact that it’s being sung by a sweaty douchebag with an acoustic guitar, rather than spoken by a politician at a podium.

Even groups that ostensibly exist solely for the purpose of social upheaval fail the efficacy test. Take Rage Against the Machine, for example. By throwing a variety pack of leftist/revolutionary symbols (Mumia Abu-Jamal! Emiliano Zapata!) at the listener, they conjure up a vague aesthetic of anger and civic unrest. But the listener is left to wonder where to go from there. “What are we revolting against? What are the goals of our revolution? And since we’re Rage fans, we’re obviously 13-year old boys, so how much can we accomplish anyway, and how much do we really give a shit? We have a math test to cram for and we all just learned how to masturbate. But please, let me know how that Mumia thing is going eight years from now, okay? What’s that? He’s still in prison? Oh. Pass the chips and unmute the TV, the game’s back on.” Delve into the worlds of underground and independent music and you’ll find groups that are certainly angrier and more political, but even less likely to have an impact on society. Not only are their fanbases too small to be significant, but chances are, they already espouse the singer’s political leanings, which may be the very thing that drew them to the band in the first place.

Which brings us to rap (which will eventually bring us to the new Nas album, but hold on; we’re not there yet). It’s lame enough that people try to use some music as a tool of social change. It’s an altogether bad idea to assign a social responsibility to music that’s just trying to be music. Rap-haters and latent racists fall all over themselves trying to discredit the lyrical content of rap. They whine that it’s all about materialism, violence, and misogyny, and when they talk about the few rappers that they like, the list generally goes no deeper than Talib Kweli, Common, and most recently, Lupe Fiasco. Or, as they are sometimes undeservedly called, the “conscious rappers.”

Fuck that.

First of all, what’s so great about the content of love songs? You know, like almost every goddamn rock song ever written? There are literally tens of thousands of great songs whose most notable lyrics are some variation on “The love in my heart/ I hope we never part.” Where are the content-Nazis when it comes to the dull unoriginality of lyrics like that? Furthermore, where are they when it comes to classical music, or instrumental jazz, or other music with transcendent power that happens to lack lyrics? Certainly music in those genres isn’t “saying something.” So why pick on rap?

Part of it must be that they don’t understand it, and to use another cliché, people fear that which they do not understand. They don’t know about hip hop’s roots in good-natured rhyme-slinging competition, and how that attitude of braggadocio developed over time to encompass ideas like sexual conquest and street savvy. They don’t understand that when a rapper degrades women on a track, he’s not even really being misogynistic; he’s just rapping (and almost certainly exaggerating) about what an unstoppable sexual dynamo he is. They don’t know about the influence of gangster and blaxploitation movies on the culture, and since rap also sometimes accurately reflects the grim realities of urban life, they can’t separate fact from fiction. They don’t get that so much of rap is role playing. And I can see why they don’t understand all of these things: the art form is relatively new, it didn’t immediately appeal to them, and they never felt like learning. Well, that’s fine, but if you’re going to call yourself a music fan or a music critic, or both, get fucking educated.

Worse yet is when these haters claim that rap has a negative social impact; that it actually creates the problems it pretends to reflect. Honestly, maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know. What I do know is that something like that would be pretty hard to measure, and that it’s an unfair criticism of music that should be judged in a bubble. “Triumph of the Will” is shown in film classes all over the world today because of its innovations in filmmaking and undeniable artistic merit. It doesn’t matter that it was a Nazi propaganda film. We can look past the content and appreciate the art. I’m certainly not comparing rap content to Nazi propaganda—on the contrary, I think most of the thematic underpinnings of rap are excusable at worst and commendable at best—but I would advise haters to approach rap the same way a film student approaches “Triumph of the Will.”

Listen to the composition, and the way it completely subverts traditional Western songwriting goals of melody and development in favor of grooves and the tone quality of its elements. Listen to the way the rapper’s words bounce off of each other and the beat, like an immeasurably complex drum solo shaped by the human brain and voice. Listen to the immediate impact of the rapper’s delivery. Listen to the cleverness of the lines and the effectiveness of the rhyme schemes without worrying about what it all means. Bask in the overall aesthetic of the music. That’s rap. Not some Common easy-listening neo-soul bullshit that claims to be socially conscious just because it doesn’t call women “bitches.”

Which, finally, brings me to Nas. Nas’ latest untitled album is, lyrically, a stunningly well thought-out discussion of race in America. “Hip Hop is Dead” only occasionally delivered on its themes. This one delivers absolutely. But there’s a problem, like there is so often with Nas. The production is terrible. By that I mean it’s the worst production I’ve ever heard on a Nas album. Ergo, for a music fan, it fucking sucks to listen to. Right now, that album has a score of 70 on Metacritic, which is what got me thinking about this whole diatribe in the first place. How is a score like that possible for an album full of shitty music from start to finish? What hath the myth of socially important music wrought? I could have sworn that I clicked on the “Music” tab on Metacritic, not the “Social Commentary” tab.

And that’s my point. Music and social commentary can be delivered in one package, but when it’s time to critique them, they’re two completely separate conversations. Interesting, original, or political content in music is a bonus, but it’s literally the last thing you should look for when deciding if something is worthwhile. That is, if you’re a music fan, like I am. If you’re a sociologist or political scientist, you might have a whole other set of criteria. However, the apparent lack of academic interest in music’s themes over the years only confirms my belief that lyrical content doesn’t carry much weight in the grand scheme of things (which in turn means that it isn’t very important, which in turn means that it shouldn’t be part of any musical critique.)

Listen. If you’re going to hate on rap because it doesn’t uphold a non-existent social responsibility, that’s fine. Just make sure you throw away anything you own by Jimi Hendrix, Beethoven, Elton John, and Miles Davis. And if you’re going to give Nas a 70 for his terrible new album, that’s fine too. Just get ready for my new release. You’re going to love it. It’s a spoken word recitation of Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States” over the instrumental master tapes of Enya’s self-titled 1987 debut.

Actually, could someone please make that happen for real?

Summer Jam

2008-07-17T07:08:00.001-07:00

From cold winters to hot summers...

i got the intellect and the tech

Reppin the Streets - Freeway

Here's a Freeway track that fits nicely with the feel of the summer.

Styles P - Good for more than just Good Times

2008-07-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

Styles P is best known for Good Times. You know, the song that starts... i get high, i get high, i get high...also known as the song Manny Ramirez used to come out of the dugout to. Anyways, the man has a ton of other dope songs. Let's take a look at some of the other tracks on his solo debut, one of my personal favorite albums, A Gangster and A Gentleman.

Daddy Get that Cash ft. Lil Mo

My favorite Styles song. Probably the best song Lil Mo has ever been a part of. The beat is ridiculous and Styles rides it perfectly. To me, it is very important that rappers wrap up verses in recognition of the hook that is about to come. See Tupac in I Get Around - he ends basicilly every verse with the lyric I Get Around. Why? Cause that is a tight way of wrapping up a verse. Anyways, Styles does a nice job here, ending verse 2 with "daddy go and get that cash"/ that's what my honey holla out every time i hit that ass.

The song tells the story of Styles hustling with a woman whom he is also romantically involved. This tale is by no means new, see Biggie's Gimme da Loot, however, Styles version takes it a step further by discussing the dynamics of the romantic relationship of the hustlers in crime.

1) She can sleep with another dude/ she gon' tell me where the safe at, the coke at, how to rob his mother too

At first I thought this meant she definitely cares about Styles more than previously mentioned "other dude" but it could also mean she is just telling Styles so he'll empty the safe and fill her pockets...

2) If I kiss her than her heart will melt/ you don't understand how much work she carryin in the garder belt

Previously rapped in verse 1, this lyric proves her true feelings for Styles, yet only reveals Styles appreciation of her work ethic. Let us continue...

3) And she said "daddy get that cash" / she knew i would but she didn't know i would skip that fast

So yes, like just about every other rapper, Styles stays too hard-bodied to fall for - or at least admit he has fallen for - his boo.

Despite the typical ending, Daddy Get that Cash, is anything but, and is well worth a listening.

Get Paid

In the 90's you had to have kids singing the hook on at least one song - see Hard Knock Life - so keeping in line with the theme of Daddy Get that Cash, Styles puts out another dope song about getting guap, this time with kids instead of Lil' Mo on the chorus. Either way works for me really.

Nobody Believes Me ft. Sheek Louche, Cross, J-Hood

This may be the creative triumph of the album. Styles anthropomorphizes and has conversations with his gun, his knife, his money, and his weed. As the story unfolds, Styles realizes despite his love for his weapons and hatred of the power money holds over him, all he wants to do is smoke and write a verse. As for me, I'm glad he did.

The Life

This song is a classic pairing of Pharoahe Monch and Styles. Dope beat, dope rhymes, what else y'all want?

Bonus Styles tracks:

G Joint

The most divisive Styles song of all time. You either love the beat or think it's garbage.

The Hardest

Another classic pairing.

Use Mad Clips

Random song, I just love the beat and the simplicity of the hook.

Locked Up

Now this has to be the best Akon song of all time right? First of all, it is about being in prison and Akon's whole essence is rooted in the fact that he is a former convict, hence the name A-kon and Konvict records. Second of all the beat is ridiculous. Third of all, if this isn't the best Akon song than it has to be Soul Survivor, I mean that one's got Jeezy on it, so you make the call.

Fly Society: New Orleans Native Finds Life After Lil' Wayne

2008-07-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

Fear and Loathing in New Orleans - Curren$y

Editor's Note: Well literally the same day I posted this Curren$y dropped a new mixtape, Super Tecmo Bowl, his 5th in the last five months. Check it out here. I won't have an opinion on it til the end of the week. One.

Curren$y the Hot Spitter was a longtime member of Lil' Wayne's Young Money imprint. However, after never seeing a release date in sight nor ever capitalizing off the success of his only single, Where Da Cash At, Curren$y sought after and was granted his release. Now on his own, the New Orleans native has created the Fear and Loathing in New Orleans mixtape series, releasing one new tape each of the last four months. Today, we are going to take a look at the fourth installment.

First thing of note to me was the names of the tracks: Sky Barz, Lost in Transit, Stealth Technology, and Intergalactic Society. These tracks, coupled with the title Fear and Loathing, make me wonder what effect Curren$y may have had on Lil' Wayne getting hooked on the styrofoam cup and believing he is a Martian. What happened on that bus with Weezie that got both of these guys thinking they are other-worldly? Who knows, but whatever the reason, it is certainly for the best.

Fear and Loathing is a solid mixtape. I always thought Curren$y had a good smooth voice and now he has the right selection of beats, and lyrics to match. I always appreciate humility and honesty in rap and Curren$y is the first to tell you the first verse he ever wrote was 5 minutes full of crimes he never committed and girls he never talked to.

On the side: Is every first verse a kid writes a run-on of braggadocio lies? Curren$y's line reminded me of the first line of Aw Naw, my first song was like 48 bars with no hook, which in turn reminded me of the first verse I ever wrote, which was something about liking girls as much as pizza.

Spitter goes on to rap about taking dates out in a Lambo he borrowed from a famous rapper friend but tells her not to worry, the Chevy in the drive is his, plus he'll be in his own Lambo soon. Fear and Loathing makes me think he may be right.

On the side: The mixtape has 3 references to the Celtics. He calls them as his prediction to win (or make? I'm not sure) the finals, he shouts out Jesus Shuttlesworth, and he says he's the truth like Paul Pierce. Legit.

Someone should sample that...

2008-07-14T07:39:00.001-07:00

So yesterday I got some old David Ruffin music to check if there was anything worth sampling on the record. Well turns out Kanye West (and DJ Kayslay) already beat me to it. Here is Common Man, which was turned into the Jay-Z classic Never Change - and the song Double Cross which became Double Crosser by Papoose. Lastly, we have I Believe to My Soul by Donny Hathaway which became I Got Love by Nate Dogg. Classic. Enjoy.

Never Change - Jay Z

Common Man - David Ruffin

Double Cross - David Ruffin

Double Cross - Papoose

I Believe to My Soul - Donny Hathaway

I Got Love - Nate Dogg

Bonus: Both Joell Ortiz and Papoose, amongst others, sample A Change is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke. Which beat do you think is better? I got to go with Papoose but as far as lyricism I think I got to go with Joell and Immortal Technique. What do you think?

Modern Day Slavery - Joell Ortiz ft. Immortal Technique

Change Gone Come - Papoose

A Change is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke

If you recognize any samples in any hip hop songs hit up the comment section and let me know.

Where's Shyne When You Need Him?

2008-06-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

Get Off The Boo Boo readers (all four of you): it’s time to get serious.

This blog is generally lighthearted, but I have to get one heavy topic off of my chest before I go back to straight-faced analyses of Dem Franchise Boyz and ripping on hipsters. I want to talk about anti-Semitism in rap. As a Jew (ethnically speaking; I’m an atheist but essentially consider Judaism a race) and a hip-hop fan, it puts me in a strange place, and I don’t really know how to react when I hear it. Consider the following lyrics:

“Fuck you losers, while you fake jacks, I makes maneuvers
Like Hitler, sticking up Jews with German lugers”
-Method Man, from 2Pac’s “Got My Mind Made Up”

Why the singling out of Jews? And why identify with Hitler? Doesn’t Meth understand that Hitler also hated black people? This lyric seriously conflicts me, because in terms of technical skills, it’s such a dope line. It should also be noted that on the album, the words “Jews” and “lugers” are blanked out.

“Wasn’t Sylvia’s fault, or cause MC’s skills are lost
It’s cause we can’t see ourselves as the boss
Deep-rooted through slavery, self-hatred
The Jewish stick together, friends in high places”
-Nas, from “Carry On Tradition”

It’s hard to hate on a great MC, especially one that has something interesting to say. One could see this lyric as a positive assessment of Jewish success in society, contrasted against perceived destructive tendencies in the black community. I do see that, but I also see subtle claims of Jewish conspiracy and nepotism, which feeds negative stereotypes and breeds contempt. Also, a few lines earlier in the song, there’s a blanked-out lyric: “And they hate you, cause they say you ain’t paid dues/ and ----------- was stealing and robbing ‘em.” Two possible lines fill in the blank: either “…Sylvia Robinson…” or “…complaining that the Jews…” However, he goes on to mention Sylvia and Jews unedited in the quotation above. I’m not quite sure what to make of that.

“Mildew-ish, I heat it, it turns blue-ish
It cools to a tight wad, the Pyrex is Jewish”
-Malice, from Clipse’s “Wamp Wamp”

It’s basically benign and kind of funny, but it’s still an unnecessary endorsement of a completely false negative stereotype. If it wasn’t part of a trend, it would be easier to ignore.

“I’m like a modern day Hitler, black guerilla
Crip and blood in one n****”
-Lake, from Nas’ “Revolutionary Warfare”

Once again, why the idolization of Hitler? It doesn’t even make sense. Fascism is pretty incompatible with revolution, which makes the possible intentions behind Lake’s lyrics even more suspect and disturbing.

“Crucifixion ain’t no fiction
So-called chosen frozen
Apology made to whoever pleases
Still they got me like Jesus”
-Chuck D, from Public Enemy’s “Welcome To The Terrordome”

This one’s a classic. Months after Public Enemy was forced to apologize for Professor Griff’s blatantly anti-Semitic comments, Chuck D found a catchy, rhyming way to casually ridicule the sacred beliefs of one of the world’s oldest religions, reveal the insincerity of his prior apology (surprise, surprise), and inject subtle implications of deicide. Nice one, asshole.

As a fan of a musical genre that is rooted entirely in another racial culture (specifically, a culture with a history of mistreatment and injustice), I recognize that this is a complex issue that I am not in a position to truly understand. However, lyrics like those still piss me off and make me uncomfortable. Am I able to look past it and still enjoy the music? Sure. Unlike, say, white supremacist country music (Johnny Rebel, etc.), this music doesn’t have an overtly hateful agenda with intended destructive consequences. Instead, it passively reflects an existing prejudiced attitude. Additionally, I understand rap is a no-holds-barred arena, and no one is safe. For the all of my griping about the portrayal of Jews in rap lyrics, it should be noted that most rap doesn’t exactly paint an enlightened, culturally sensitive picture of African Americans either. The problem is that, for the most part, the people making the music are African Americans; they reserve the right to depict their own culture however they choose. I’m just not sure that they reserve the right to single out Jews with harmful stereotypes and violent threats.

Now, anticipating a valid point, I have to make mention of another group that is disrespected in rap lyrics far more often than Jews: women. Personally, I feel that the treatment of women in rap can be explained in several ways: the genre’s roots in blaxploitation culture and its glorification of pimps; the genre’s foundation on competition and braggadocio, and the extension of those themes to sexual conquest; the lack of any significant female influence in the genre; the crude sexuality that is inherent in any type of rock music; an accurate reflection of the underlying problems in American society; and a million other things I tell myself to rationalize the negative aspects of the music I love.

However, to me, misogyny is a completely different (though just as important) discussion than issues like racism or anti-Semitism, and therefore, one that would be very difficult to shoehorn into this post. To me, it a different issue because women are a majority, and they exist as one of two possible genders across all of the cultures of the world. I’m not a women’s studies major, but psychologically, this makes misogyny seem a lot different than the oppression of an ethnic minority. For instance, while Muslims face discrimination in the U.S., they do not face discrimination in Saudi Arabia—but women still do. I guess I’m trying to say that misogyny is universal, and therefore has different societal effects and, most likely, different root causes. It deserves its own conversation, but for now, I’m just talking about the anti-Semitic attitudes in rap.

So where does this attitude come from? There seems to be two immediate sources. The first is a perception of Jews in the music industry—and, to a certain extent, business in general—as scheming, calculating swindlers. My understanding is that this stereotype can be traced to a time in medieval Europe when Jews were essentially forced into the roles of merchants and bankers. These vocations, combined with good old ignorance and bigotry, made for the creation of a Jewish strawman caricature that was conveniently easy to demonize. Today, it makes even less sense to single out Jews as corporate culprits, since basically any high powered business executive is most likely a greedy scumbag, regardless of ethnicity or industry.

The second and more significant source is the anti-Semitism that is far too prevalent in the black community today. This is an uncomfortable fact, and one that I don’t have the insight or time to discuss here with appropriate thoroughness. However, it is a fact. Surveys (http://www.adl.org/PresRele/ASUS_12/4680_12.htm) have revealed that African Americans are far more likely to hold anti-Semitic beliefs than the rest of the U.S. population, even as anti-Semitism as a whole is on the decline. Three of the most prominent black community leaders—Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Louis Farrakhan, individuals who, at times, I admire greatly—all have histories of viciously anti-Semitic rhetoric, which is especially disturbing since, by all accounts, they are supposed to be modern spokesmen for civil rights.

This trend troubles me for several reasons. First, African-Americans and Jews have similar histories of discrimination and suffering, and as such, it seems both sad and counter-productive that the two groups would fight with each other. Second, liberal Jews were responsible for much of the financial and cross-cultural support behind the civil rights movement. Third, in my experience, the prejudiced attitudes are not mutual. That is to say, none of the many Jews that I know are racist, and they all advocate liberal politics that promote the protection and advancement of black society. Maybe this wasn’t the case two or three generations ago, but as far as I know, it is the case today.

Black anti-Semitism does not inspire racism in me, nor does it make it want to reconsider my political and social liberalism. But it does hurt more than the run-of-the-mill anti-Semitism from white people, because it feels especially pointless and undeserved. Yeah, I know: any discrimination is pointless and undeserved. But I expect a white Christian majority to subjugate a historically demonized ethnic group. It’s surprising and disappointing to see it coming from another marginalized culture.

I’m not passing judgment here. First of all, I have never personally encountered anti-Semitism from an African-American, and I know that most African-Americans harbor no ill will toward Jews. Besides, like I said, I don’t have the insight or expertise to analyze the situation with any legitimacy. All I’m trying to say is this: I listen to rap, I hear traces of anti-Semitism, and it annoys me. I want to understand where it’s coming from, and I want to listen to the music I love without feeling that the performers hate me, even while I completely respect them. If I made any faulty assumptions or arguments here or came across as insensitive in any way, I sincerely apologize, because it was not my intention. I would love to get into a discussion with anyone who has something to say on the subject.

In the meantime, I’ll keep listening to rap, and getting pissed off and offended every once in a while. I suppose it’s not the worst thing in the world, and if I didn’t have some free time and a blog on which to post, I would never bring it up. But I do have those things, so you get to hear my rants on whatever topic happens to be bouncing around in my head.

Tomorrow: a top 20 list of my favorite dinosaurs (just kidding).

Good Music that is not the Carter III

2008-06-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

Rising Down – The Roots

While this album won’t give any Roots-haters a new reason to reevaluate the Philly crew, it does reward its fans with its ominous tone, truculent disregard of the mainstream, and lyrical dexterity. The title track, Rising Down, features guest spots from Mos Def and Styles P – both fitting in nicely and going in hard (no sasha vujacic). If you are on the border of liking the Roots but are a little put off by Black Thought, take a chance on Rising Down.

The Mixtape About Nothing – Wale

Wonderful interplay between Seinfeld sound-bites and concept related songs. My initial question when I got the mixtape was how is Wale going to address the Michael Richards situation? My second thought was can you be a fan of a character yet dislike the actor? The answers: 1) The song The Kramer begins with Richard’s infamous comedy club rant, followed by verses centering on the issue of racism and self-hatred. The mixtape, and this particular song, are well executed and definitely worth downloading. As for liking a character while discarding the actor I think you can separate the two, take the character and leave the actor. What do you think?

Speaking of self-hatred: I recently woke up ridiculously hung-over and stood brushing my teeth before my bathroom mirror. My stream of thought…this sucks, why do I do this to myself…followed by…god, I am hating on myself right now…followed by singing to my reflection – not out loud but in my head – I see you, hiiii hater! ... followed by laughing and thinking…rock bottom.

On the Side: I am not a big fan of web talk acronyms such as LOL or LMAO or SMH but I also don’t think they will lead to the demise of the English language. However, what I do think, is that the acronym SFRS – short for so fucking rock show – should be used for declaring that something or someone is rock bottom.

Example: Did you see Mike grinding on all those dumpy looking girls last night? SFRS.

The In Crowd – Kidz in the Hall

Kidz in the Hall have not only managed to avoid a sophmore slump but have actually crafted a much better album than their debut disc. The UPenn duo offers dope rhymes over dope beats and I mean that’s pretty much all you can ask for. Standouts are Paper Trail and The Pledge ft. Buckshot and Sean Price aka The Brokest Rapper You Know. The In Crowd is definitely worth downloading or buying - if you still do that.

On the Side: Do people still buy music? I haven’t bought a rap cd in a really longtime. It never even crossed my mind to buy Carter III – I’m talking over the whole two years we waited for it I always said shit, I’m going to download CIII the minute it leaks. But this Tuesday two cd’s came out that I plan on purchasing as soon as I get my new credit card – I left the old at a bar in NYC (after paying $15 a drink and being deaded by a girl for which I stupidly purchased a $15 drink I was too rock bottom to walk back inside once I realized I left my tab open. In a way I almost feel like some people subconsciously leave tabs open to avoid facing the misery of realizing how much cash you wasted on essentially nothing…anyways, back to music…) So the two cd’s I plan on purchasing are both “Indie” Rock – yes “indie” is a stupid label so it is put in quotation marks – and it got me thinking what makes people who download music choose what to download and what to buy? My initial rule when I started downloading music was if I like two cd’s I downloaded from a band/rapper I will buy the third. However, CIII made me realize I don’t stick to that rule at all. Thinking about it more I realized I am much more willing to give money to “indie” artists simply because they sell less records and need the support of their fans. Thinking about more I realized it’s not just about the artist – purchasing a cd in the digital age is more of a statement about yourself, you making your declaration that yes I like this and am paying for something that I don’t have to because I want to affiliate myself with this band/rapper product…I might be totally off with this but I think some would agree or at least see where I’m coming from. Anyways…

The title the In Crowd inherently brings to mind Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool. Both albums question what it is to be cool and why we value bullshit. In terms of hip hop’s history of determining what is cool I always hold Mobb Deep’s line -to all my killers and my $100 billers/ to all my real n—gas that ain’t got no feelings – to be the defining take on what makes a person cool.

The first line makes killing cool because it associates murder with money -think Stringer Bell’s board-meetings in the funeral home - meaning death is just part of business, and cash rules.

The second line associates being real/cool with being void of emotion.

Now, what Kidz in the Hall and Lupe deem cool is being able to not let the context of your situation define what you believe to be cool ie don’t have to be gangster in the ghetto and you don’t have to be a bookworm in a family full of scholars. Be you. While this seems pretty preachy, both Lupe and Kidz in the Hall come off as well intentioned take it or leave it this is what I think aka way less preachy than Weezie on the end of Misunderstood.

So there you have it, two good albums and a mixtape, all of which are not the Carter III. Download – or buy? – and enjoy.

What's A Goon to a Goblin? A Look at the Carter III

2008-06-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

Next time you mention Pac, Biggie, and Jay-Z don't forget Weezy
-Lil Wayne, Mr. Carter/Carter III

This was supposed to be the album that cemented Lil Wayne’s legacy as one of the G.O.A.T.s. This was supposed to be the culmination of countless mixtapes and leaks that teased you with the idea that maybe Lil Wayne is what he says he is – this was supposed to be the coronation of a new king.

But is that what Weezie really wanted? Or was he setting out to prove he has a place at the table with rap’s mainstream giants? Regardless of what the Carter III was supposed to be, it is the worst of the Carter series while still being a thoroughly solid and marketable album.

To look at the Carter III I will give a brief overview of its major players:

50 Cent and DJ Khaled: I mentioned in a previous post about Lollipop how I reasoned it to be the result of 50 Cent challenging Lil Wayne’s ability as a song writer and potential to capture a mainstream audience. Now, in my book being a successful mainstream rapper today means taking no risks, leaving out the grime and sordidness reserved for mixtapes in favor of gimmicky simplistic hooks and vocoders. That being said – that is exactly what the Carter III is. Wayne never really goes in, never fully embraces the playfulness and hard-bodiness that set the tone of the Dedications, the Droughts, and the Carters.

As far as Khaled goes, I have become convinced that there has been a transition of the meaning of Best Rapper Alive – what was once a statement threatening every MC in the game has a completely new meaning. What Best Rapper Alive now means to Weezie – post 50 Cent’s challenge - is Best Rapper on a DJ Khaled song. Why? Those are the MC’s that matter to the radio stations and record labels, those are the MC’s that form the group Wayne so badly wanted to be a part of – successful mainstream rappers. Well guess what? When Wayne wanted to genuinely be the Best Rapper Alive – taking on the world in his mixtapes – he was. When Wayne wants to be the Best Rapper on a Khaled Song – settling for mediocrity – he is.

Note: If you are thinking - wait Wayne has gone platinum before and already was a mainstream rapper, that is not the point. With Carter III he is aiming at superstar (which he has never been until now). Go back to Don't Die on Like Father Like Son and I quote: "shit I guess I'm one sellout record away from being famous/shit I guess I ain't it." Well he is now.

The Styrofoam Cup: A lot has been made of Wayne’s drug use and justifiably so. The cup facilitated and catalyzed Wayne’s descent into the depths of his creative well resulting in some of the most clever free flowing word association verses that came to define Wayne’s style. However, when you rely on your ability to flow extemporaneously off the top you must be confident you will continue to catch lightning in a bottle every time you pull on a blunt and exhale a verse into the mic. On the Carter I and the Carter II, Wayne arguably caught that lightning every track – as for the Carter III his leather may still be so soft but he sure as hell never goes so hard.

The Vocoder: To me the vocoder is the fake tits of the rap game. Say you have a naturally pretty girl, I’m talking doesn’t even need to wear make-up if she doesn’t want to. But all of a sudden she starts noticing other girls getting what she wants. So what does she go and do? Thows some D’s on her chest and paints a mask on her face - now she looks like a pornstar and is enjoying everything she always dreamed would be hers - but at what price? Lil Wayne was that pretty young girl – where the hell am I going with this? – but as soon as he threw that vocoder on Lollipop he accepted mediocrity and all the splendors that buys you in the twisted world of the rap game.

The Leak: Over the past two years Wayne has seemingly favored quantity over quality and released countless mixtapes (whether or not he actually released the material or it was stolen still being a topic of debate). A bunch of the materialthat was initially intended for and should have been on the Carter III, ended up being released prematurely on mixtapes such as The Leak. Songs like I’m Me, I Feel Like Dying, and La La all would have been wonderful additions to the Carter III.

Mannie Fresh: Where the fuck is Mannie Fresh? The absence of Mannie Fresh on the Carter III may be the single biggest reason the album never recaptures the fire of the first and best installment of the Carter series. Now, maybe I was too hopeful to think even for a second that Mannie and Weezie would realize that they made and could make way more history together if only they could suck it up and resolve their differences. Listen to Go DJ and This is the Carter off the Carter I – this is Lil Wayne and the great Mannie Fresh at their finest -this is the foundation of the Lil Wayne movement that birthed the belief that Wayne could be one of the greats.

The production on the Carter III is solid but never able to stir the demons that lurk in Wayne’s mind – the beats never bring out the Wayne that makes you wonder if he truly may be from Mars like he claims on Phone Home.

Kanye offers up three beats – the Irreplaceable-esque “Comfortable”, the Robin Thick assisted “Tie Me Down” – which is not even close to Carter II’s Shooter – and my personal favorite Carter III track, “Let the Beat Build.” All in all, Kanye’s beats embody the essence of the Carter III – mundane yet enjoyable.

Even with all of the aforementioned critiques, the Carter III still holds up as a solid piece of work. After every listen I walk away with a new song in my head – no check that, a new hook in my head. It used to be you listened to Weezie and came away with couplets from verses that either blew you away with their intricacy or humor. Now Wayne - like the rest of the radio rappers he was so eager to join – leaves you with two bar hooks, both catchy and meaningless.

The main difference between the Carter III and its predecessors can be told from the stories of their opening tracks. Wayne set the tone of the Carter I and II with Walk In and Tha Mobb – two tracks, both with no hook, just pure lyricism set to ominous synth lines. You listen to Walk In and Tha Mobb and you are prepared to deal with a monster. You listen to 3pete and its that same old goon you will hear in the song before and after on your favorite “hip hop” radio station. So on A Millie, when Wayne asks what’s a goon to a goblin? Answer right along with him, nothing.

Highlights: In general, there is no one song that stands out to me as drastically better than the rest of em. But here are some scattered highlights of the Carter III.

Mr. Carter – solid beat, solid hook, okay Wayne, solid Jigga.

A Millie – The track most reminiscent of an old Wayne mixtape song.

Comfortable/Mrs. Officer – Two light and funny R&B songs. At first I thought Mrs. Officer was stupid but then realized the concept of literally fucking the police, in handcuffs and heals no less, is pretty funny (and so is the siren hook sung by Bobby Valentino).

Phone Home – We are not the same I am a Martian – that intro makes me think of Aesop Rock’s Mars Attacks every time. What is it with rappers and Mars? Anyhow, this is probably my least favorite track on the album but it still consistently gets stuck in my head.

Tie My Hands – I crack up with every listen of Robin Thicke’s spoken word intro – we are at war with the universe/the sky is falling/and the only thing that can save us now is sensitivity…wow. Really? I like the song but can’t take any song with that intro seriously.

Shoot Me Down – The beat reminds me of a stoned/mellowed out Takeover, mostly cause of the bass. The hook is solid and the song is a good drug song – I think it’s a drug song? – but as far as drug songs go, it’s no I Feel Like Dying. This is definitely one of the better songs on the album though.

Lollipop – Said it before, will say it again – best song all time or just of our generation? Oh, also, the remix at the end of the cd is sick but isn’t as good as the Kanye remix.

La La – Started out hustling/ended up ballin. Dope Hook.

Nothin On Me – This song is Wayne’s chance to rap with his New York friends and he doesn’t even come close to seizing the moment. Both Fab and Juelz outshine Weezie on a really solid Alchemist beat. This song could have been classic but the hook is just way too simple and uninspired.

On the Side: Fabolous references Major Payne in his verse. I feel like after a rapper or singer has already executed a pop culture reference perfectly – see R. Kelly in Make it Rain Remix, ‘I be drillin these chicks like Major Payne’ – than the reference should be retired.

Let the Beat Build – I really like Weezie rapping over “soul” loops and this might be my favorite song on the album. I feel like a remix with Bun B would be dope.

Misunderstood – the song is good but the rant at the end is amazing. Weezie says Al Sharpton is Don King with a perm and then he says some shit about sex offenders and drug users. Wayne being preachy is just funny to me.

All in all, like I said, it’s a solid album - listenable throughout, but as for legendary? No. Wayne came close to being a legend but I think it’s safe to say that day will most likely never come.

Report from the Glow In The Dark Tour

2008-05-22T09:14:00.000-07:00

Timeliness is not my strong suit. It’s a week late, but I feel compelled to write a review of the insane experience that was Kanye West’s Glow In The Dark Tour. Last Thursday, at the Tweeter Center in Mansfield, MA, I was dead center in the fifth row for one of the most grandiose concert spectacles ever conceived. I’ve seen AC/DC, with the giant bells and fire breathing statues; this was even more ridiculous. Fortunately, the music was a hell of a lot better too. (Disclaimer: I like Kanye. If that hurts my credibility, so be it.) Anyway, on to the review, starting with the opening acts:

Lupe Fiasco:
I missed Lupe’s set, which was fine by me, because I really don’t give a shit about Lupe. Except “Gold Watch.” That song rocks.

N.E.R.D.:
I caught the end of N.E.R.D.’s set, which was pretty loud and annoying. I love the Neptunes, so the idea of N.E.R.D. was always appealing to me, even if the music wasn’t that great. I like how they take the sounds of rock—distorted guitars; loud, live drums—and inject a hip hop sensibility through sharp start-stop rhythms and rap-style phrasing. Here, however, that finesse was absent, replaced by a wall of sound that sounded amateurish at best, bad rap metal-esque at worst. The phrase “311 circa 1999” comes to mind. Also, they covered “Seven Nation Army,” a song whose popularity I never understood, and a song that I continue to hate even as I gain more and more appreciation for the White Stripes. It seemed like a pretty lame, mainstream choice for a cover, and I’m guessing they picked it because it’s really easy to play and the teenybopper crowd would know it.

(An aside: this concert was one giant high school party. It was the first time in my life I’ve ever really felt old. Like, very-soon-to-be-out-of-touch-and-part-of-the-establishment old.)

Rhianna:
Rhianna was up next. She was really hot up close, and so were her backup dancers. That’s pretty much all I have to say about her set, except that the sound was top notch. Props to the sound engineer; the mix was seriously perfect.

Kanye West:
Kanye’s set started with a jumbotron voyage through hyperspace and a crash on an alien planet. The lights came up to reveal the star of the show lying on the barren world’s surface, which was represented by the wildest stage set-up I’ve ever seen. Describing the very elaborate design is forcing me to resort to a semicolon-laden list: a rocky, barren moonscape; a mountainous backdrop; a backing video screen representing the interface of Kanye’s spaceship, Jane; an even bigger backing video screen projecting effects and an impeccably choreographed light show; a third video screen on the floor, doubling as an angled stage, which later was revealed to be hydraulically operated, capable of flattening out and lifting Kanye high above the stage; robotically operated planets with projected faces; blue and red shooting flames; sparkling fireworks; lots and lots of fog. God damn. Kanye arose from the wreckage to the tune of “Good Morning,” and we were off.

His set drew pretty evenly from all three of his albums and lasted 90 minutes. It’s not even worth listing the songs; he played just about everything you would want to hear. One thing that struck me as the show went on is that Kanye isn’t really a hip hop artist, at least not in the traditional sense. I mean, first of all, he can’t rap. His flow is clunky and awkward, and literally every single rhyme sounds forced. (Case in point: that line in “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” about the devil wearing Prada and Adam and Eve wearing nada—possibly the worst couplet ever recorded.) Luckily, his style and his production somehow manage to compliment each other, so his shortcomings don’t really hurt the music overall. Still, even beyond his poor rapping, his music has evolved into something very difficult to classify. Just thinking about some of the songs from his set: “Flashing Lights,” “Homecoming,” “Stronger,” “Good Life” (song of the decade?), even “Spaceship” off his first album. Are any of these really rap songs? Could you imagine him on stage in a small club, rapping these songs with a DJ spinning behind him? I can’t. To me, this over-the-top genre-smashing style of music needs an over-the-top eye-popping live show, one with sentient spaceships and trans-galactic drama. And how would you classify this music? Arena-electro-rap? Maybe that’s not quite it, but it’s closer to the truth than calling it hip-hop.

Kanye kept the superstar vibe consistent by being the only person on the stage throughout the entire show. He had a superb live backing band, but even they were hidden from sight underneath the moonscape set. It was just ‘Ye, alone on a barren planet in front of thousands of fans. And how did he handle the spotlight, you ask? Pretty damn well, actually. Despite the ego, the ridiculous outfits, and the political outspokenness, I’ve never found Kanye to be particularly charismatic. Live, however, he turned into something like a rap Iggy Pop, writhing on the floor, stomping around the stage, and dancing like a man possessed. He brought energy, presence, and professionalism to every second of the show, and that surprised me more than anything. During “Jesus Walks,” he took the opportunity to promise Mr. Of Nazareth that he would “stop spazzing out at awards shows,” which I thought was pretty funny, until I read reviews from other cities and found out he made the exact same joke at every show. It was cool when I thought it was off-the-cuff; now it just seems kind of manufactured and lame. Oh well.

All in all, I’d give Kanye’s performance an A, an A+ for production values and an A- for his set overall as a concert experience. The A- is because it was a little Vegas-y for my taste, and so slick and over-produced. Normally, as a fan of a more organic live experience, those flaws would be a complete deal breaker for me, but in this case, the show was just too damn good. It makes me excited for whatever new music he’s got brewing, and whatever egomaniacal dystopian touring space opera he’s going to send my way in the future.

Props, Kanye. Keep making it do what it do.

Chain of the Day

2008-05-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

first chain with a ski mask

Of Note: Plies is not the definition of real. In fact, he isn't even a good rapper - but how amazing is it that he is probably the most (monetarily) successful MC pictured on this XXL cover from last November? For me, I have Lupe, Joell Ortiz, and Rich Boy at the top of the list and everyone else in a much lower second tier. What you think?

2008: The Year of the Hater?

2008-05-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

As Jim Jones screamed ballllin at the top of his lungs and 50 Cent told the world I'm stanky rich, 2007 became the year of the baller. The same old flashiness and flaunting defined the rap scene, which behind closed doors was suffering from reduced sales and relying more heavily on tours.

As for 2008, a new phenomenon seems to be developing. In dealing with the backlash and jealousy that always occurs when you stunt in the face of someone who doesn't got it like that, rappers have become more aware than ever before of the hater.

Two weeks ago Haterz Everywhere We Go was the Jam of the Week. Well this week's Jam of the Week, Hi Haters by Maino, picks up right where B.O.B. left off and pushes the hater movement onward.

Looking at it closely, recognizing your own baller status or your league of haters that follow you everywhere you go, both seem to have the same underlying principle. In order to have haters one must be a baller, so therefore, in declaring you have haters you are merely declaring you are a baller.

When Shawty Lo yells BIG UPS TO ALL MY HATERS! he is really just biggin up himself for being worthy of haters. In many ways, haters is the new bling - both mean you've made it, so wear em' proudly. 2008 may be the year of the hater, but in reality it is just the same old same old.

On the Side: It is interesting to note that both BOB and Maino, the two main rappers responsible for focusing the eye of the rap world on the haters, are up and comers using haters to launch a career rather than rappers dealing with haters who are hating on their already established career. The importance of this? Either there are a number of people who are jealous of rappers simply for getting a deal or there are a number of rappers who are so overjoyed just by getting a deal that they think they've already earned the green eyes of the jealous haters. Is this a good or bad sign? I'm leaning towards bad but hey, we've got the rest of the year to find out.

Weekly Poll Wrap-Up

2008-05-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

Fallen Off

A term used to describe someone who inexplicably disappears from all contact.

"Where's Nelly? He's fallen off"

Alright, so I've heard some complaints about the poll - mainly, what are Jay-z and Nas doing in the same category as Fifty and Nelly. Well here it is...

Jay-Z - Technically speaking, yes, Jay did fall off after Reasonable Doubt. That being said, he didn't fall too far as Blueprint and Black Album are both classics in their own right and paved the way for Jay-Z to be this week's winner - by receiving no votes - but RD was a top 10 album all-time. Can you say the same for any of his following work?

Nas- It would have been impossible for Nas to drop an Illmatic every time out and maybe he will be unfairly judged for never reaching that peak again and living up to the promise of his debut and becoming the best rapper of all time. Plain and simple that is why Nas was on the list: after Illmatic he had the chance to be the G.O.A.T. and he wasn't. Unfair? Maybe. True? No doubt.

Fifty - Get Rich or Die Tryin was ok. A B- maybe. Everything since? F -.

Nelly - Nelly beat out Fif cause he went from solid to disappearing completely and losing all credibility as an artist.

Conclusion: Y'all got it right and Nelly remains hip hop's Humpty Dumpty. Oh how the mighty have fallen...wait, he's still mad rich though right? Shiiiiiit.

r.i.P. Season Begins - A look at HNIC 2

2008-05-07T11:26:00.000-07:00

Money is worthless 

Real power is people 
Real strength is in the streets
Where everybody is equal 
fuck jewelry, fuck rims
Lets spend on our protection 
Get Armor get cameras
Get wit it lil n***a this man sh*t.

The first hook from HNIC 2 turns out to be its most revealing. Survival – whether by getting protection or turning your back to the flossy side of the game – is something Prodigy has mastered. Staying relevant for over a decade in the rap game one must have the ability to either constantly reinvent themselves to keep with the times, or stay true to themselves, trusting their style and aura to last on the strength of their own effervescence.

In the case of Prodigy, he entered the game and took it by storm with the grimy dark sound of Mobb Deep. After beef with Jay-Z and Nas and hip hop turning into pop music, Prodigy and Havoc took the Mobb Deep name to G-Unit to try to make hits for the club. The result was immensely unsuccessful and Mobb Deep and its two cohorts seemed to have fallen off too deep to ever resurface as hip hop heavyweights.

Prodigy, realizing reinventing the Mobb Deep sound, sacrificing hardcore street lyrics for shake your ass hooks was not going to sustain the Mobb Deep franchise in the ringtone era, did what smart men do: he brought it back to what he knew and returned to the style that put him on the map in the first place.

Return of the Mac, Prodigy’s last solo and first post-G-Unit disaster disc, brought back the Prodigy we had all known and grown to love: stories of devastating drug use erecting mental cages, murder and a genuine love for his guns, as if they were his girl or kids, leading to entrapment within the revolutions of the dark-side’s vicious circle.

Well HNIC 2 offers the same Prodigy of Return of the Mac - only on HNIC 2 the 70’s funk and soul loops, masterfully put together by Alchemist on Return of the Mac, are traded in for ominous synth lines and cinematic strings.

While the highlight of the cd is clearly its opening track, Real Power is People, there are a few other moments worth noting:

1) Young Veterans – the song details the early, often too soon, forced coming of age for those growing up in streets of rage. Highlight of the song: how Prodigy says ‘boy’ on the hook. Random, I know, but trust me, it sounds dope…

2) A,B,C’s – The whole hook, with the children chanting an old (ABC) nursery rhyme – kind of like something Nelly would do, but a thousand times more gutter…who holdin down NYC, huh? Being the second highlight of the song.

3) Click Clack – HNIC 2 proves to me that Prodigy and his producers have a wonderful understanding of dynamics. In response to Prodigy’s monotone - which makes him the gangster Guru of his day – the producers of HNIC 2 surround him with beats that are all dark yet never the same and pair Prodigy with other rappers whose voices stand in complete contrast.

On Click Clack, the smoothest beat of the album, we find the disc’s first feature by Twin Gambino. Now Big Twin Pop-Off probably has one of the grimiest voices I’ve ever heard, I mean he makes MOP sound like pre-pubescent children. Putting Twin on the smoothest of the album’s beats only makes sense to someone with a great understanding of dynamic. It’s a good look.

4) 3 Stacks – On the hook of 3 Stacks we find P going all Quasimoto on us, raising the treble in his voice while killing the bass, to constantly repeat 3 stacks, 3 stacks, and a pocketful of hats. Right after the first hook and our first taste of Quasimoto P, Twin Gambino returns to hit us with the growl of his voice, which stands in striking juxtaposition to the preceding hook. Again, another great use of dynamics.

5) I Want Out – On the hook of the last song of HNIC 2, guest rapper Un Pacino notes how Havoc’s strings sound like the end of a gangster flick. He spits about if this was a movie this would be the part where he pulls his gun out because he wants out. This raises an important issue…

To me, I Want Out represents the struggle of every gangster’s inner Stringer Bell verses their inner Avon Barksdale - take the dirty money and build a clean empire or stay on the corners and do what you know.

In The Wire, Stringer tries to go legit and forego drugs for real estate and ends up getting murked by his own man – his past gets the better of him. As for Prodigy, he took the Mobb Deep dirty sound and tried to go clean with G-Unit but ends up returning to the dirt that took him to the top of the game in the first place. The last song on the album, plus Prodigy’s recent up north trip, may seem like a part of him wants to move on from the toil of his profitable past, but the first 11 songs suggest he’s comfortable back in his role as hardcore lyricist P.

On the Side: The Wire, in having Avon trump Stringer and depicting a gangster’s past to be too insurmountable to overcome, is a very depressing realization as it basically declares the war on drugs and murder in the streets to be never-ending epidemics. Ironically, in the case of Prodigy, the gangster overcoming the desire to be legit (in this case a rich G-Unit rapper) actually proves encouraging and a great sign that real music still has a place in today’s rap game.

Weekly Poll Wrap-Up

2008-05-02T10:29:00.000-07:00

So the results are in and you chose Method Man as your first favorite MC of the Wu. I have to say I agree, Meth really did steal the show on 36 Chambers. In terms of Meth's career post-36 I'd say it was definitely much more hit than miss. His performances in How High and the Wire, his debut solo cd (Tical), his collabos with Redman (Blackout) and Mary J (All I Need) being the high points - his association with Limp Bizkit and last two solo projects being the low points. Right now it seems as if Ghostface is shining the brightest from the midst of the chaos that is the Wu, but back in the day it's pretty hard to argue the Method Man wasn't setting the bar.

Ayyy, It Must be the Monayyyyy - Nelly and the Sophomore Slump

2008-05-01T07:19:00.000-07:00

This past week, Nelly spit a surprisingly decent "freestyle" on Rap City. I got to thinking about back when he first came on the scene, in 2000, and how if you were to do a hip hop fantasy draft you'd probably have to take him number one seeing as how Country Grammar sold 9 million fucking records - and on top of that, it was actually a decent album.

- That Being Said -

When it comes to falling off Nelly is the hip hop Humpty Dumpty. Emerging on the scene with Country Grammar, Nelly put the midwest back on the map and became 50 Cent before the world even knew 50 Cent. Nelly's style of singing hooks and bridges, coupled with the St. Louis accent, throwing rrrr's at the end of words and E.I. at the end of sentences, Country Grammar, much like Get Rich or Die Trying, was a movement that put a whole crew in the limelight and put Nelly on top of the game.

What happened after that? What happens far too many times in rap - a sophomore slump. Now Nelly didn't suffer a sophomore slump in terms of sales - neither did 50 - just in terms of quality hip hop music. To explain why sophomore slumps consistently plague hip hop artists of living up to their debut's precedent, I am going to look at three simple points:

1) Ay, It must be the money - The bulk of Nelly's debut, and several other mainstream rapper's debuts, deal with the come up - the struggle, the hustle, the joy of making it. On an artist's debut this material feels fresh and real but after an artist goes platinum (9X) an age old problem arises:
(1) now that you've made it what else are you going to rap about?
(2) if you rap about the same problems your lyrics seem played out.

So what do the bulk of rappers do? Make hits for the club, trade credibility for profit aka drop down and get their eagle on.

2) A life in utopia - Life in the garden of Eden, or any where struggle doesn't exist, is meaningless because if everything is perfect there is no room left for progress. The sophomore album of an artist whose debut album almost solely deals with the come up faces the problem of no longer being motivated by the tension that it took to make it.

3) When interviewed about the making of Reasonable Doubt, Irv Gotti, of the VH1 reality show Gotti's Way fame (he may have done some stuff before...), said that often times a rapper or any artist's debut is their best work because they have been working on it their whole life. Twenty years of emotion transformed into art will often be more powerful and meaningful than what an artist can crap out in the one year following the greatest achievement - to that day - of their lives.

Conclusion: When you got something to prove you are dangerous. You are hungry, you are motivated, you are willing to pour your heart and soul into every record. Luven Me was the last song Nelly recorded for Country Grammar. In the song he talks about all the shit he has put his family and loved ones through and how he has so much love for everyone sticking with him through the sacrifices he made to dedicate his life to this album. Think about it: he was drafted by the Cardinals and opted to stay on the streets because making music was his dream. Now, someone that puts that much on the line is going to make sure their music means something. Once that tension, that risk, is gone: rapping becomes like any other job, just something to do to cash a check.

Nelly said he cried after recording Luven Me. What do you think he did after recording Hot in Herre? Wipe his ass with a Benjamin?

Nelly's freestyle on Rap City gives me a glimmer of hope, not Obama HOPE!, but I am almost ready to start lovin Nelly again - well, only if he's got something to prove.

On the side: Country Grammar features interludes from Cedric the Entertainer. While mildly entertaining, I have to say Bernie Mac's interludes on Kanye's shit absolutely murk Cedric's - I feel like this encapsulates the difference between their whole careers as Bernie Mac has just always been a little bit better. Also, Country Grammar features a totally forgotten about guest verse from Young Post Office Weezie - back in the day when Wayne didn't get by on just mailing in verses but solely on the premise of how crazy his voice sounds.

Last thought: Somehow, athletes like Tom Brady are impervious to the sophomore slump because no matter how much they win they still feel like they have a chip on their shoulder. What rapper's have this quality? Jay? Maybe. Anyone else? I don't know. What I do know, is Nelly and 50 and all of them debut album was good then I became a sellout rapper better find it. One.

Thought after the Last Thought: The best part of Luven Me might just be the shout outs from the last verse on the song, and the album. Take a look:

My n--ga Lil' Erv, Gino and Poochie
and everybody over on Euclid and Labade
Young Big Touch, Pooh and Big Baby
Rio, J.T. and Big Money
Herky Jerk, Wezz and Pea and Cody
J.E., K-Ug and Odie
Toe-Fa, M.J., and Cowlby
And all my soldiers down at Fair Ground on Monday
My Lunatic fam, Keyjuan, Murphy Lee
City Spud, T-Love and Big Lee
Yellow Mack, Slow Down, Courtney B

Of all the names, I'm going to go ahead and say Herky Jerk takes the cake. Just imagine being like hey Tanya, these are my friends James, Matt, Liz, and Herky Jerk. I guess that would actually be kind of baller...

Four songs that are far better than they have any right to be

2008-04-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

Why four? Cause I couldn’t think of a fifth, and this post was getting pretty long already. You know, the Yuki Indians of California use a base-8 numeral system, because they count on the spaces between their fingers instead of the fingers themselves. They would consider this a pretty complete list. So, if you’re a Yuki, enjoy.

4.) Ray J feat. Young Berg, “Sexy Can I”

Millions of people saw this guy’s dick before they ever heard him sing, and the rest just knew him as Brandy’s brother. That’s not exactly the best way to start a career. And Young Berg? Who? But I’ll be damned if they didn’t put out a smooth, catchy, singalong-able pop hit that I knew was money within the first 30 seconds the first time I heard it. The beat is the unsung hero here, with its offbeat starts and stops, and those sweet, sweet four descending notes at the end of the loop. Young Berg isn’t all that bad either, sounding like a featured R&B rapper should sound, while dropping some legitimately decent sex jam lines (“I’m a go getter, and she’a go get it…”). Ray J makes the song though, sounding perfectly at home in his role. Sealing the deal: the end of the music video, in which the cameraman is revealed to be… Shaq. Why? Why not.

3.) Dem Franchise Boyz, “Talkin Out Da Side Of Ya Neck”

Dem Franchise Boyz were largely responsible for blowing up “snap rap,” mainly due to their smash hit, “Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It.” That song had a strange effect on me. After hearing it, oh, I don’t know, 12 million times, I began to let my guard down. I started nodding my head, and I would get momentarily excited when it came on the radio. It’s infectious like that. I would have to slap myself and remind myself how seriously terrible that song was, and how it set a new low standard for bottom-of-the-barrel mainstream rap.

Overexposure will not be an issue with “Talkin Out Da Side Of Ya Neck.” It’s far too abrasive. However, I really like the song for a couple of reasons. First, “talking out of the side of your neck” isn’t even a phrase, and it makes absolutely no sense. So naturally, DFB decide to make that the hook, and repeat it over and over. They embrace utter stupidity, and it plays quite nicely. Second, the song was produced by Bangladesh, whom I kind of like. He produced Luda’s “What’s Your Fantasy,” Kelis’ “Bossy,” and an awesome unreleased M.I.A. song called “Hit That.” On this song, he doesn’t try particularly hard. The beat is just three horn notes over and over, and at first, it’s kind of annoying. But what can I say; I like it, and I like the whole feel of the song. Besides, I think a fourth note might be too sonically complex for DFB anyway.

Also, anytime the video features a bandleader with a big hat and a scepter, I’m probably going to like the song (see entry #1 below).

2.) Bow Wow, “Azimiz”

Yeah, it’s a little out of place because it’s a few years old, but it’s basically the epitome of what I’m talking about in this list. I don’t have much to say about this song because it’s not fresh in my mind, but I’ll relate a little anecdote. I was in a club in New Orleans, and when this song came on, everyone got down. Lame white guys were doing dumb-looking thuggish posturing, girls were grinding up on each other; it was pandemonium. I asked my friend whose song we were hearing, and when he told me it was Bow Wow, I didn’t believe him. As far as I was concerned, the moment Mr. B.W. removed the “Lil” from his name, he became a walking joke, and basically guaranteed his rapid descent into obscurity. But on this song, he delivered a hard-hitting club jam that didn’t sound a thing like kiddie rap. I could easily imagine Lil Wayne or Juvenile with that beat and that hook, and for that comparison alone, Bow Wow deserves credit.

1.) Shawty Lo, “Dey Know”

Shawty Lo hails from D4L, a phenomenally untalented group that is known for its hit single “Laffy Taffy.” I think I can say, without exaggeration, that “Laffy Taffy” may be the single worst piece of pop music to ever infect the American mainstream. Everything about that song—most notably, the godawful, sterile, miserably unfunky Casio beat—made me envy Helen Keller. As such, “Dey Know” takes the number one spot simply for accomplishing one hell of a turnaround. It’s downright 2008-Celtics-esque.

“Dey Know” is about as good as mainstream rap tends to get. I love those down South marching band beats, and this one, with its deliberate, rolling rhythm, reminds me of a New Orleans jazz funeral. Lo doesn’t attack the beat; he makes his voice a part of it, and his delivery is so money, I couldn’t possibly give a shit what he’s saying. To me, this is a case study in how dense, super-talented lyricism isn’t always what the doctor ordered. Nas could probably take the track and spit 100 interior-rhyming bars about the subjugation of black culture, but over this beat, it wouldn’t match the pure visceral impact of, say, “Big up, all my haaaaaters!” Besides, Lo gets points just for having the balls and the foresight to leave his crew. I can’t remember a single time I listened to “Laffy Taffy” and thought, “Damn, one of these guys really needs to drop a solo project!” But Lo did it, and he’s every ounce the better for it. So kudos, Lo, and enjoy the dubious honor of being number one on a list of backhanded compliments.

Do you care where a beat comes from?

2008-04-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

So the Haterz Everywhere beat is similar to that of the Love in this Club beat. The Love in this Club beat was essentially made from two garage band sample loops. But do you care where a beat comes from? Does it matter?

I remember getting pissed off when I first heard Just Blaze's beat for Touch the Sky because it was just a simple four bar loop of Curtis Mayfield's Move on Up. But then I realized I wasn't pissed at how simple the beat was - I was pissed that I didn't make it. I think the same is true with Polow's Love in this Club - anyone could've made it, but he did. So the question we now face is does this make the song better or worse? Or even matter?

Personally, I almost feel like this makes the song even more baller cause it's a total slap in the face to anyone who owns a Mac (excuse me, I need a minute...)

Lastly, to be a good producer you have to do more than just make a beat. I'll never forget an interview in which Hi-Tek told Dr. Dre he better get credited as a producer if Aftermath artists spit on his beats. Dre's response? Than come out to Cali and produce.

Making the beat is only the first part of the puzzle. Being in the studio with the artist, guiding them like a director, and helping craft the hook and the song, is what it takes to be a good producer. What's it matter? It doesn't end with sampling a four bar loop or aligning two sample synths - that's where it begins.

As Polow said in response to the criticism he got for Love in this Club - "I made women want to fuck Usher again." Now that's called being a good producer.

Hope for the Summer?

2008-04-25T10:32:00.000-07:00

At the begining of a music video there are only two tags that make me drop whatever I am doing to prepare for a flavor flav "wowwww" moment. The first, and best, is seeing the words "story by r. kelly" strolling across the screen. The second, which is almost as equally enticing as the first, is seeing the Jam of the Week label in the upper right hand corner of the screen.

Now, if you watch MTV Jams on a consistent basis you know a good Jam of the Week can literally Beyonce-style upgrade your whole week. In the abyss of shitty video after shitty video you will find oasis in a Jam of the Week that seemingly justifies you having not changed the channel for the last two hours, or in some cases, two years.

This week’s Jam of the Week happens to be one of those songs that renews my interest in the mainstream and not be ashamed to openly admit: yeah MTV Jams is the shit, what's it to ya?

Haterz Everywhere by B.O.B. featuring Rich Boy (originally featuring Wes Fif til the label decided to make the song a single) introduces Decatur's own B.O.B. to the masses. B.O.B.'s choppy flow perfectly fits the wobbly synth beat, similar to that of Love in this Club. The hook, while not being revolutionary in concept - when you are a baller you will have a lot of haters (i feel like this should become a tautology taught in logic classes) - pumps you up in only the way all intentionally bad singing rap hooks with shouted out background knock out counts can.

On the Side: Check out the Wes Fif version of the song. I like Rich Boy but I think it's pretty safe to say Wes Fif's verse has got 'em goin down for the count...1...2...3...

Haterz Everywhere slightly renews my hope for a solid summer but I'm not ready to be fooled into optimism just cause a bunch of MC's who are blowing up the internet - B.O.B., Wale, Wiz Khalifa, Jay Electronica, etc. - are going to blow up the rap game.

Final thought: Something about the idea of having a lot of haters is universal. I feel like anyone who listens to and likes this song will at one point or another look around a room and be like shiiit, haters everywhere we go - once a song has that impact it's got some staying power, or at the very least, Jam of the Week status.

State of the Radio

2008-04-20T08:08:00.000-07:00

Well it has been two weeks since my last post. At first I blamed it
on being lazy, then i attributed it to my having to work the last
couple of weeks, and lastly, i blamed the radio for simply not
inspiring me. In hindsight, I can say I've always been lazy, so that
ain't it, i only worked 3 days last week and two this week, now
granted that is 5 more days than I worked in the past two months, but still, that can't be it. So it has got to be the radio's fault for
letting me down.

When I say the radio I mean Jam’n 94.5. As for last summer, Jam’n was a humongous disappointment, the song with the most staying power, that you were guaranteed to hear every hour on the hour, was the extraordinarily underwhelming, Make Me Better by FABO and Ne-Yo. The Timberland beat, stealing the strings from Raekwon's Rainy Dayz, is solid but the rest of the song is garbage.

On the Side: In Make Me Better Fabolous spits "stick with your entre
and get over your side" but keep in mind back in Can't Let You Go he tells it like it really is, "the entre aint as good without something
on the side." So? Rappers lie, nothing new. Also, wasn't Can't Let You go a much better song than Make Me Better? And why wasn't T-Pain in the music video or credited for singing the hook? What happened here?

The fact that Make Me Better was 2007's summer jam of the year is really depressing and when looking at Jammin 94.5's top 20 list right now, I'm not sure we are going to do much better in '08. So with a summer upon us, let's take a look at the state of the radio...

20. Diamond Girl - Ryan Leslie
Actually a decent song, really good beat, solid 50 Cent remix (never
thought I'd say that), and good move turning dime-piece into diamond girl.

19. With You - Chris Brown
Basically, Chris Brown's Irreplaceable in terms of acoustic guitar
heavy beat. Pretty rock bottom song but certainly helped Chris
Brown's movement to cement his status as a R&B superstar.

13. I Remember - Keisha Cole
This may be the most emo song I've ever heard on Jammin but Keisha actually has an amazing voice and looks extremely classy in the video which stands in sharp contrast to her BET reality show - I hope other people watch this show besides me...

12. Dey Know Rmx - Shawty Lo
Easily the best song on the countdown. Every once in a while a rapper comes out and has a voice so unique that the superstars of his time listen to it and go damn, I want to sound like that. In Dey Know, Jeezy and Luda, both attempt to mimic Shawty Lo's flow, but let's be honest only one man can boast "BIG UPS TO ALL MY HATERS!"

------
On the Side: The best example of superstar rappers trying to
sound-like a new-comer I could remember in pre-Dey Know days, hard to think such a time existed, was definitely What We Do by Freeway. What We Do, for me, is easily a top 3 Roc-a-Fella song all time. The beat is definitely in Just Blaze's top 5. There isn't really a hook other than the sample. What We Do introduced Freeway to the public. The first line we ever heard from Free, is also, to me, an all time best stepping-to-the-beat-pre-rap-spoken-intro in "this shit for my kid's my...". Now, Freeway's voice, like Shawty Lo's, is so powerful that Jay-Z, maybe the best rapper of our generation, and Beanie Siegel, certainly not the best rapper of all time but still prideful in his own right, try to imitate Freeway's style. That doesn't happen too often mang...
------

Dey Know certainly belongs to Shawty Lo and his verse holds its own not only with the big ups line but also with I got guns like TI, and like Kels I believe I can flizay, but young Weezie, yes, Mr. Please Say the Baby himself, Lil' Mr. I'm about to release the biggest let down of an album, takes the best line of the remix award simply for referencing a timeless video game with all my kicks fly like Liu Kang.

On the Side: Classic video game references seem to always work and for some reason, probably the large guns, Contra has recently been rap's go to video game. In Black Democrats off Da Drought 3, Juelz (whose verse tells Wayne's to go sit in the corner) boasts "still tote big guns like I was still playin Contra" Now this was easily the best Contra-reference tile Washington's DC 's Wale spit "everybody know me like the Contra code for extra men" on the Nike Boots Rmx - in which his verse also murks Weezie's.

Question: Does the referencing Contra rule-book stipulate that
you are only allowed to if you out-rap Lil' Wayne in the same song?

He Still Got It Moment: Wayne does have a maybe he still got it moment on the Nike Boots Rmx. What Wayne was known for before all the best rapper alive business was being remarkably witty and funny. On Nike Boots he spits:

naked woman rub my back
and ask me how was my night
i say bitch stay out of my business
when we fuck she say
stay out my kidneys

Comic gold while still holding up his money over bitches motto. Also, the stay out my business line really reminds me of Ross' just cause we fuck dont mean you can kiss me line. Both just truly there aint nothing personal about this lines.

6. Touch My Body - Mariah Carey
Vintage Mariah. I actually don't mind this song at all, it's pretty
catchy and I have been known to say I best not catch this flick on
YouTube but it's usually for stumbling as opposed to bagging a
superstar songstress.

5. Sexy Can I - Ray J
Have to say Trump was the first to declare this a legit song and as
far as the beat goes it certainly is. The only aspect that pisses me
off is Young Berg's swagger like he is an elite rapper and if you
ain't down to...then you can watch the tour bus go by. Now if 50 said
that fine, Young Joc, okay, I guess I could see it, but Young Berg, I
mean c'mon.

4. She Got it - 2-Pistols
Yessir.

3. What You Got - Colby Oddonis
Despised this song at first but it has grown on me, what with working 5 days out of the last two weeks and being forced to listen to Jam’n and hear it 3 times a day. I respect the song cause Colby, a
new-comer, could genuinely be pissed off by a girl playing him whereas if this came from T-Pain it would be no one plays me, I'm the shit. So I respect it, I guess...

2. Lollipop - Lil' Wayne
Like the song. Absolutely do not respect it...

1. Love in this Club - Usher ft. Jeezy

All I have to say is there needed to be an ode to not wanting to wait
til you get home or even the parking lot, to bang out. Finally we have that ode. Additionally, I think a new mandatory I Never question has been posed by Young Jeezy, cause I certainly know the next time, and every future time, I play I Never I have to ask: have you ever made love to a thug in the club with his ice on? And I want to see every girl drink.

On the side: Is keeping your ice on the rap equivalent of leaving your sox on? Or are the two unrelated?

So in conclusion, I don't have too much hope for this summer's
mainstream "urban" radio and can't really imagine any hits being more than guilty pleasures - but isn't that really what the summer is for anyhow?

MTV Jams, get out of my head!

2008-04-11T12:27:00.000-07:00

Late last night, I was flipping channels, and finding nothing of interest, I settled on MTV Jams. They were about 30 seconds into a new Wyclef Jean song I hadn’t heard, but it sounded pleasant enough, so I kept watching. Suddenly, the hook hit, and I couldn’t believe my ears. Could it be—no—was that Paul Simon? Indeed it was; he wasn’t in the video, but I know that voice like the back of my, uh, voice. Paul Simon over hip hop drums, sharing a track with Wyclef! And he sounds good, not out of place in the least! I woke up this morning thinking I had dreamed the whole thing.

The song is called “Fast Car,” and I know very little about it, having heard it only once. All I know is that it affected a very emotional response, and I want to hear it again. To understand my excitement, you have to understand that I have taken some flak over the years for insisting that Paul Simon is one of single greatest songwriters of the last 100 years. I will stand by that sentiment for as long as I live, and I say that Garfunkle’s better half being at least somewhat back in the contemporary mainstream can only be good for the state of pop music.

However, there’s more to this story than just the initial shock of hearing Paul Simon on a rap-oriented TV channel at 1 in the morning. The first time I ever had a favorite song, I was 3 years old, and that song was “The Boxer” by Simon and Garfunkle. The second time I had a favorite song, I was 6 years old, and that song was “Fast Car,” by Tracy Chapman. Now, at age 23, there’s an unrelated song called “Fast Car,” which features the singer who wrote “The Boxer.” To me, that is really, really, cosmically weird; I feel like I just made a complete revolution around my musical sun, or my life is on some kind of 12 Monkeys-esque closed loop or something. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m gonna, like, die tomorrow.

Alas, this newfangled “Fast Car” isn’t going to achieve favorite song status. Hell, I doubt it will crack my top 1000. But, from hearing it just once, I would have to say it sounded pretty good. It’s a little bland, but I’ve found myself humming Paul Simon’s refrain (easily the best part of the song) all day. The end of his section, where his voice starts to fade out, singing “mile after mile after mile after mile…” gave me the chills. I figured that I must have just caught a draft in my apartment, but when that section repeated, I got the chills again at the exact same moment. When a song can do that to me twice, it’s a good sign.

Also, I’ve really changed my tune on Wyclef. I used to think of him as a total hack, untalented as a rapper and even worse as a singer-songwriter, all magnified by apparent delusions of grandeur. However, I’ve come to realize that he really has an unusual, singular style, and I kind of dig it. His music been labeled everything from reggae-lite to ineloquent, tuneless folk, and truthfully, both of those labels are probably somewhat accurate. But really, it’s more than that. It’s a gumbo of many rootsy musical styles, amounting to a stripped-down pop aesthetic that sounds like little else in mainstream music.

Furthermore, Wyclef’s simplicity, both lyrical and musical, has become an asset rather than a detriment. It gives all of his songs, from the absurdly theatrical “Gone Til November” to the soulfully amateurish “If I Was President,” a genuinely organic feel. On top of everything, he’s got a good voice with an accent well-suited to musical expression, and his Haitian ethnicity effectively flavors all of his work. Also, I’ve come to love his insistence on awkwardly rhyming only the last syllable of words, even if that syllable isn’t emphasized. I used to think he did it because he didn’t know how to rap. Now I think it comes from a combination of cultural influence and a desire to approach rap with originality while avoiding superfluous virtuosity. Anyway, all of this is a moot point; Wyclef gets a lifetime pass from me for making “The Score” with the Fugees, one of the great all-time albums, in my humble opinion.

Wyclef as a person? That’s a post for another day, and I actually have an interesting story to relate on that subject. For now, I leave you with the following lines from “The Boxer:”

In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down or cut him til he cried out
In his anger and his shame
“I am leaving, I am leaving”
But the fighter still remains...

Wow. Just... wow.

2008-04-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

According to the nebulous, sometimes-unreliable-sometimes-prophetic internet, this may or may not be the album cover for Tha Carter III. I don't even have anything to say about it; it kind of speaks for itself. I'll just say that I really hope they use it, because anything else would be a crushing disappointment after laying eyes on this masterpiece.

So this is what my life has come to: a report from Lil’ Jon Live 2008

2008-04-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

No, this is not a late April Fools joke; I actually saw Lil’ Jon in Vegas this past weekend. Let me clarify that. I didn’t see him briefly walking through the casino, or happen to go to a bar where he and his crew were hanging out. No, I actually went out of my way to see him, paying a disgusting amount of money to get into a club where he was spinning. Which of course begs the questions: what in the name of the Ying Yang Twins would inspire me to do such a thing? I am going to try to answer this question the best I can, more for myself than anyone else.

Actually, this isn’t such a task. I know why I went. I went for the same reason I do anything out of the ordinary: for the story. I didn’t want to come home from Vegas and say that I could have seen Lil’ Jon, but didn’t. And by “see him,” I mean that literally. He didn’t perform, and thank god for that. He just posted up behind his iMac, the Swiss Army Knife of wannabe DJ’s, and played a decent night’s worth of club music. The music flowed from song to song, like you would expect from a real DJ, and there were some semi-interesting mashup-type cuts. Being the semi-retarded manchild that he is, I doubt he knows how to actually spin, but I don’t think anyone was expecting Grandmaster Flash. Who knows if he just already had the whole night’s set ready to go on a single track, and who cares. If he had done something talented, I probably would have stopped believing it was actually him.

The experience itself was a blend of hilarity, occasional-to-frequent crunkness, and (I hate to admit) a mild degree of celebrity infatuation, something that I frequently decry. I mean, come on—I was standing two feet from the guy with the most famously sweaty balls in the music world. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? I was a little on the fence about going to see him at first, but if they had just billed the event as “Lil’ Jon’s sweaty balls spinning at Prive tonight!” I would have been there in a heartbeat.

(True story: I bumped into him accidentally on the way out of the bathroom. He was on his way in with a massive entourage. Who takes an entourage to the bathroom? Ostensibly, they were there to help dry off his balls, the sweat of which was, at this point, spreading to the windows and to the walls.)

The highlight of his playlist? That would have to be the obligatory (yet totally out of place) medley of “Don’t Stop Believing,” “Take Me Home Tonight,” and the other standard hair metal songs that girls sing along with at bars when they are trying to get laid. However, with Lil’ Jon at the helm, that medley featured a bunch of awesomely awkward, mistimed beat-drops punctuated with unintentionally self-parodic “What!”s and “Okay!”s. It was Lil’ Jon in a nutshell: totally untalented, unaware of and unable to control his own ridiculousness, and still finding a way to get the club jumping. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Everyday Epic

2008-04-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

Does this

equal

this?

Yesterday I watched Superbad for the first time since seeing it in the theater. For whatever reason, I was left with the thought that movies like Superbad and Harold & Kumar remind me a lot of the Lord of the Rings...

The value of movies like Harold & Kumar and Superbad is how they turn real life goals (getting fast food and hooking up with girls) into journeys of epic proportions. For Harold and Kumar to reach White Castle, as well as for Seth and Even to bring alcohol to Jules' party, is the equivalent of Frodo climbing Mount Doom.

The beauty of transforming the everyday into the epic is that in real life, the completion of certain everyday tasks feels like monumental achievements. Everybody has moments in which they think that, what just happened right there, to me, in my life, could have been in a movie. Successfully journeying to get the exact food you desire at an off-hour for restaurants or obtaining and transporting a substance you are not legally of age to possess, definitely qualify as these certain everyday (epic) journeys.

On the side: This might just be me, but I constantly confuse Lord of the Rings with Harry Potter and for the longest time thought the eye in the sky was called Lord Voldemort. Just me?

Devil's Advocate: Last year, The Stage Names by Okkervil River, may have been may favorite non-hip hop cd. The first song, Our Life is Not a Movie or Maybe (lyrics posted below), stands as an attack against our ego’s tendency to self-aggrandize events in our own life to the point that we think our life could be a movie.

Basically, the song states that the everyday is in no way relatable to the epic. (but at the same time the “or Maybe” in the title of the song means they are open to the idea)

Final Thought: Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman was noted for bringing tragedy, which had been reserved solely for royal figures (ie Oedipus, Macbeth, etc.), to the common man (Willy Loman). Dare I say, Superbad and Harold & Kumar, in the vein of Death of a Salesman, have brought the epic to the everyday? Think I just did.

It’s just a life story, so there’s no climax.
No more new territory, so pull away the imax.
In the slot that you sliced through the scene there was no shyness.
In the plot that you passed through your teeth there was no pity.
No fade in, film begins on a kid in the big city.
And no cut to a costly parade (that’s for him only!)
No dissolve to a sliver of grey (that’s his new lady!)
where she glows just like grain on the flickering pane
of some great movie.
-
Our Life is Not a Movie or Maybe

Chain of the Day

2008-04-02T13:54:00.000-07:00

Koopa Troopa

Wake up, wake up, it's the 1st of the Month

2008-04-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

People ask me all the time how I, as a suburbanite, relate to and love rap. Well...
one of music's greatest gifts is it offers you another vantage point and opportunity to step out of your world - in many ways rap is like a trap closet door in Narnia? (Don't get too excited R. Kelly...)

Now, one of my favorite rap songs that I in no way relate to the premise of or "facts" of, has got to be 1st of The Month by Bone Thugs N Harmony.

The song is about the celebration of the first of the month because once government checks are collected the bone thugs crew be smokin', chokin', rollin' blunts, and sippin' on forty ounces, thuggin.

Now can I, or any other suburbanite, relate to waiting for the first to come around so we can collect a check? Nah. But anyone can relate to the universal aspect of the song, which is the desire for a fresh start and the feeling, no matter how temporary it lasts, of being able to take one day off to breathe life in and chill. (plus, anyone can relate to the feeling of waiting on a check, don't have to be the first)

So whatever April 1 means to you, whether it's a prank you're going to play on someone at work, whether it's one day closer to nice weather (thought it was going to be 60 today, what happened?), whether it's a chance to collect a check, or whether it's simply another day in the life, make it a good one. 100.

Droppin' Knowledge: Nietszche is one of my top five philosophers. He was a perspectivalist, meaning he believed we all look at the world with different sets of eyes, and each of our experiences are unique yet universally relatable. Conclusion? The Nietszche would have definitely fucked with the Bone Thugs Poetic, Hustlers of the Graveyard Shift.

On the side: Remember when the Crossroads video came out? Has got to be top five rap video all time.

Rick Ross Verse

2008-03-27T15:12:00.001-07:00

Rick Ross’ Trilla debuted at Number 1 on the charts – but when you stack Trilla up against old Ross as well as similar music from his contemporaries, I’m not so sure Trilla holds its own. Now Ross is an important figure in hip hop, not solely because he can move units in the dark days of internet downloads, but also because he revived Florida after Trick Daddy took a nap (with little children?) and even found the talent that is Flo Rida (who has quite possibly conspired with Plies to strip the MI-yAyO of any credibility) Either way…here you have it… Rick Ross vs. Ross, Ross vs. Wayne, Ross vs. Jeezy, Ross vs. the world!

The Boss (ft. T-Pain/Trilla) vs. Boss(ft. Dre of Cool n' Dre/Port of Miami)

While The Boss was released as a single, most likely due to production by JR Rotem and a T-Pain feature, Boss was a completely overlooked track on Port of Miami. Listen to Boss (because not many have) - I always felt like it could be a great summer jam, whereas The Boss is just more of the same. Also, hasn't Ross explored the theme of a Boss' life enough at this point? Or is his next album going to have a song called Da Boss?

On the side: "I'm the biggest boss that you've seen thus far" - Ross. In terms of physical size, probably, but in reality, isn't Birdman probably the biggest boss we've seen thus far? He started an empire out of nothing that has lasted for over 10 years. Also, on Boss, Ross claims "I made a million dollars last year dealing weight." I'm going to have to go ahead and say shenanigans. No platinum rapper is still that heavy in the game. I honestly appreciate more honest lines like "I ain't have to touch a piece of work since 'o4" - Birdman (1st Key/Like Father Like Son). Believable? Who knows, but certainly more reasonable.

More on the side: Do you like DJ shout outs? On the beginning of The Boss you hear a JR before the first verse kicks - does this get you excited? I will say this, hearing DJ Drama yell Gangsta Grillz ya bastards! does - for whatever reason - pump me up, even though it pisses most people off. At this point, I'm pretty lukewarm hearing an MC shout out Just Blaze, but i will say it is baller to have the MC give you the shout out seeing as how bigging up the DJ was the MC's original purpose. As much as a Drama or Just shout out gets you ready for a track, how much does a Khaled We the Best! and Listennnn! make you reevaluate your whole life?

Winner: Boss

While we're on the topic...

DJ Khaled Interlude (Trilla) vs. silence

A whole 1:29 of DJ Khaled incoherent yelling? Who was like, yup, get Khaled, we need him babbling for at least a minute and a half. I will say "Rick Ross is the logo of the hustle" does make me laugh but you still got to take silence over anything DJ Khaled has to yell.

Winner: silence

Luxury Tax (ft. Lil' Wayne, Jeezy, Trick Daddy/Trilla) vs. I'm a G (ft. Lil' Wayne, Brisco/Port of Miami)

I'm a G is a very solid song. Just like Luxury Tax, Wayne spits a decent hook but the difference here is clearly the beat and the supporting casts. J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League made one hell of a beat for Luxury Tax, it reminds me of a more up-tempo December 4th and when Ross goes in it is quite a moment. Additionally, Young Jeezy and Trick Daddy vs. Brisco? Murken' em. Lyrical "gems" of the song:

Make more that the model for the mob,
Need a blowjob my model, get a model for the job.
- Rick Ross

They said I couldn't play football I was too small.
They say I couldn't play basketball I wasn't tall.
They say I couldn't play baseball at all.
And now everyday of my life I ball.
-Wayne

On the side: I just noticed Lil' Wayne references turtle in I'm a G (bulletproof car got me feelin like a turtle). He also references being like a turtle when he sips the purple in Kush (on The Leak), and i'm also pretty sure at one point he says he feels like he's racin a bunch of turtles, and keeps a bandanna on like the ninja turtles - is Weezie secretly obsessed with turtles? Should we call him Weezie F. Turtle? For those keeping score at home -

Wayne's car = Turtle
Wayne sipping purple = Turtle
All Rappers that aren't Wayne = Turtle
Wayne wearing a bandana = Turtle

So therefore (in Wayne's World)...

All rappers = Turtle

Winner: Luxury Tax

This Me (Ross/Trilla) vs. I'm Me (Lil' Wayne/The Leak)

DJ Toomp, just like J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League, made a beat that fits Ross perfectly. Now as for Ross, choosing to make a song called This Me when Weezie just made a song called I'm Me is going to draw comparisons. Rap, just barely edging out emo, is clearly the most narcissistic genre of music and how well you brag is a huge factor in how well you rap. Wayne on I'm Me is emotional, creative, funny, and when he states I'm Me, Who are You? he is challenging you to be all you can be like the marines - basically, don't talk about it be about it.

The beat on I'm Me follows a trend Wayne started on Like Father, Like Son - sampling himself. While producers are complaining about the prices of clearing samples, Wayne stepped up and said fuck 'em I'll just sample myself. I told ya rap was the most narcissistic genre of music.

The game fucked up, more fucked up than it's ever been
I'm married to that bitch, call me Kevin Federlan
-Wayne

Winner: I'm Me

Speedin (ft. R. Kelly/Trilla) vs. Go Getta (Jeezy ft. R. Kelly/The Inspiration)

For me, being objective about Young Jeezy is like Jared Fogle being objective about Subway - it's not going to happen. However, for the sake of argument, I will at least try judging the songs on this one criteria - When you hear the song do you feel like 'oh shit, something, i have no idea what, but something big is about to go down'? Speedin? Uh, no. Go Getta? 'Young Jeezy and your boy Kells' ... Yes, very much, yes.

People consider Jeezy and Rick Ross to be in the same vein - mainstream down south coke rappers still strong two albums deep. But no, this is very much a misconception. The best analogies I can draw is what my friend Sam said about the difference between Lost and The Wire and what I said about watching tv.

Sam's analogy: Lost is like a fun meaningless fling, good for an hour once a week, but has no real staying power, whereas The Wire is like a steady meaningful relationship that really matters.

My analogy: Rick Ross is like watching tv and flipping through the channels (a leisure activity) while Young Jeezy is like watching something On Demand (a commitment).

So basically, Rick Ross is a one night stand, Lost, and channel changing while Jeezy is a relationship, The Wire, and On Demand.

Editor's Note: The one exception being that Rick Ross would have to be Season 2 of The Wire because most of Rick Ross (Port of Miami, etc.) and Season 2 of The Wire are mostly about drugs coming in through a port.

Winner: Go Getta

As for the rest of Trilla: Very mediocre. On no song does Trilla come close to classic whereas Port of Miami, to me, flirts with timeless on Everday I'm Hustlin, Push It, AND Blow (my personal favorite Ross song). Trilla is by no means a let down for Rick Ross because honestly, what were you expecting? Even though they aren't classic or even the best mainstream rap songs on the subjects of money, drugs, and narcissism, I'll be bumping Luxury Tax, The Boss, and This Me all summer.

"This Prodigy album is great. Who's this Mobb Deep I keep hearing about?"

2008-03-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

In his last column, my esteemed colleague Big Lev discussed the meaninglessness of the term “emo rap.” I happen to disagree with his assessment; perhaps it’s an unnecessary classification, but track-by-track, I feel that there are definitely songs that lyrically emphasize emotion far more than most rap, much of which is blatantly anti-emotional. But I want to discuss another similar point on which he commented only briefly: the goofy fucking description of certain acts as “hipster rap.”

First off, let me say that I don’t even get what a hipster is supposed to be. If it is just someone who stays on the cutting edge of music, than I’m a hipster—but I know I’m not, so that can’t be it. Does the hipster philosophy extend beyond the sphere of music? Is a hipster someone who has reveled for so long in the supposed irony of drinking PBR that they now actually enjoy PBR? To be a hipster, do you have to dress like someone whom no one could ever take seriously? Do you have to jerk off to Pitchfork Media? Do you have to have a shitty, faux-sophisticated, unearned elitist attitude about all of these traits?

As you can probably tell, I don’t have a very high opinion of hipsters, or at the idea of hipsterism as a meek liberal arts university subculture. To me, they seem like a lame, overcompensating group that is pissed off that this generation doesn’t consider them cool, and they desperately wish that they were born in the beatnik age (that’s right, it’s an age now—Stone Age, Bronze Age, Beatnik Age). I suspect that this is part of the reason that they reject most mainstream rap. In a subversively racist way, they resent the fact that rappers and other black representatives of hip-hop culture truly set the standard for hipness, not them.

But the problem with hipster rap isn’t the fact that hipsters like it; hey, at least they’re getting something right, even if they bring a lame white-boy aesthetic to an image that used to be dangerous and cool. The problem is that hipsters don’t like any other rap besides whatever album ranked highest on their preferred indie rock website’s most recent year-end list.

I mean shit, Mr. So-Called Hipster, I love Clipse too, but really? “Hell Hath No Fury” is your favorite rap album? Oh, you like “3 Feet High and Rising” too? Wow man. You’re deep. What else is in your top ten? Oh, you only own six rap albums? Well, that would explain a lot.

A hipster who likes TV On The Radio could probably tell you three decades of alt-rock history, but the same hipster riding around on his Vespa (okay, now I’m really reaching for stereotypes) bumping “Fishscale” couldn’t tell you a goddamn thing about rap. Hipsters need to learn the basics, the roots; study the variety of production styles and geographic idiosyncrasies; realize that some of the fundamental qualities of the rap they like can make a lot of mainstream rap truly transcendent. Because if there’s one positive thing I can say about hipsters, it’s that they know music, and they listen with a better tuned, more critical ear than any other group of popular music fans. That’s what makes their willful ignorance of hip-hop—as well as the label “hipster rap"—so absurd.

(An aside: is it possible to “bump” anything on a Vespa? Do scooters have sound systems?)

That said, there is one group that I think could legitimately be called hipster rap: The Cool Kids, whom I actually think are pretty good. They deliver all their braggadocio in irony, they sound simultaneously super-dated and cutting edge, they dress like idiots, and Pitchfork has told the hipster community it’s okay to like them. Just make sure you put a Radiohead or Pavement song between each track on your playlist.

Emo Rap? Dont Let Money Change Ya

2008-03-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hipster and emo rap have always generated a significant amount of backlash from hip hop purists. Just as Common and Talib Kweli don't like being pigeonholed by the term conscious rappers, up-and-comers like Kidz in the Hall and Tanya Morgan don't embrace the label of hipster rap. As far as emo rap, the first groups that come to mind are Atmosphere and Gym Class Heroes, but in actuality, emo rap is a meaningless classification (and Gym Class Heroes aren't even a rap group) - rap, from gangster to hipster, has always been filled with emotional lyrics ranging from self-deprecating (I wish I was a baller) to clumsiness around woman (If I was I would call her).

Rappers, like the rest of us hopeless suckers, have women trouble. Now, theirs generally tends to be because of two pitfalls: the fast life and the money. In the NFL (not for long) city to city life, it is too easy for a rapper to smash in different area codes. In terms of money, shiiiit, whether or not it changes you or just makes you who you really are, suddenly things ain’t what they were.

So for the first installment of Emo Rap: Emotional Subjects in Hip Hop, here are a couple tracks highlighting the issue of money, cause as my man Styles says,

money you the root of evil,
how they print "In God We Trust" knowing what you do to people?

Ex Girl to Next Girl - Gang Starr
What separates this song from all other player anthems of moving from one girl to the next is that Guru acknowledges how the troubles of relationships keep him moving on rather than simply lust for the 'nani. Where money comes in? There is the classic girl being after rapper’s loot -

It made me mad to find that she was only after my ends

- to the rare, rapper liking her loot –

She tried to buy me
Even tempt me with the hiney
I fell for a sec cuz the clothes were real fly
I could almost feel i
Would give into her whims
Her thoughts were erratic, sporadic, crazy in nature
I told her hey look I can no longer date ya

Punish Me - Big Pun
Big Pun ain't a player, he just crushes a lot, and in this track he reveals that even he gets crushed every once in awhile. He started out feeling like the luckiest man on earth but then money got in the way. Pun breaks it all down in two lines:

1) Behavin like a money hungry hooker, funny how the money took her
from a average honey to a stunning looker

-and what I personally have always wanted to be able to say to a girl-

2) Girl don't even start again, I beg your pardon
and get your hands off my six button Cardigan

(that and ‘call me so I can get it juicey for ya’…imagine being baller enough to say that and have it work… lollipop best song all time? or just our generation?)

Ms. Fat Booty – Mos Def
Like Pun, Mos tells of a money chasing dime but this time it is the rapper who is begging for her to come back instead of vice versa.

Three months, she call ‘I feel I'm runnin a fever'
Six months, I'm tellin’ her I desperately need her
Nine months, flu-like symptoms when shorty not around
I need more than to knock it down I'm really tryin to lock it down
Midnight we hook up and go at it
Burn is over, let her know, sweetheart I got to have it
She tellin’ me commitment is somethin’ she can't manage
Wake up the next morning, she gone like it was magic

See, even rappers get played.

Tooken Back - Ghostface Killah
When it comes to emotional rappers Ghost just may be the Don. On the theme of wanting to be taken back this song offers three universal and ageless perspectives:

1) guy explains to his psycho girl why she is now his ex

Take you back?
That could never happen, I'm sorry
No disrespect, but you a psycho honey
Got that S.S.I. MONEY and you start actin' funny

2) girl tryin to hold on to her man

Who loves you baby? Nobody like Jacki-O
Cook, clean, break up your weed, and I give you nasty throat
What you actin' for? Get back in the door
Come on, home, where you belong, let's get it on

3) guy loses his girl and begs for her to come back

'Member the first time you made my key
You was drunk, you went behind a tree and pee'd
I miss shit like that
Uh-huh... fuck that, take me back, pretty please, with you on top

The point? We all want to be tooken back at one point or another. I mean, if she cook, clean, break up your weed and gives nasty throat you are going to want that back.

On the side: Possibly best Ghostface line ever -
And when you told me your Merlo need more grapes
I said "Honey, you never had wine before!"

So there you have it, the first installment of emo rap, a meaningless classification.

Chain of the Day

2008-03-25T08:58:00.001-07:00

off with his head we takin the hood back

So I Let Her Lick the Rapper

2008-03-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

Lollipop is a good meaningless pop song. The problem is that any single released by Lil' Wayne is in no way meaningless. Wayne carries the expectations that come with calling himself the best rapper alive. Now, if Lollipop were recorded by an up-and-coming pop singer it would be a legit funny feel good song. Seeing as that is not the case, you have to look at what Lollipop means for Lil' Wayne: did the pressure and anticipation of a new Wayne single force him to come out of his lane and release a pop song so that his rapper-status couldn't be questioned? Is it Jordan playing baseball - a star taking a chance on a childhood dream? Was Wayne simply having fun and singing on a track like he did on Crazy and Promise on Drought 3?

All I know is it is officially time to worry that the Carter III will not stack up to the first two installments, I Can't Feel My Face will never come out, and Wayne will fade away. On The Leak, Wayne stands up and says I'm me, who are you?

Well Wayne is becoming what he is not - a radio rapper. For the last two years Internet Wayne has been murking radio Wayne - all the mixtapes destroy the random verses Wayne spits on Khaled and R&B singer's shit. Lollipop tells me Wayne ain't afraid to step out of his lane - what worries me is that he might like it enough to stay out of his pocket. The radio turned 50 Cent into Ja Rule - watch Wayne become the new 50. Ain't that a bitch.

I Wanna Speak About a Couple Issues Much Bigger...

2008-03-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

Has anyone heard Nas offer a decent explanation as to why he is naming his new album N****r? He is yet to even offer a simple explanation, like to put the issue of race back in people's faces...or to make people uncomfortable. With N****r and Hip Hop is Dead, Nas has seemingly mastered creating album titles that start a discussion he apparently doesn't have much to offer to. That is all fine and well, but doing a little research it seems a little group called Little Brother has dropped some actual knowledge on Nas' behalf.

Little Brother was 2007's hip hop seely posturepedic of rap - they were slept on. The Getback was a dope cd, from the beats to the lyrics to the skits, it was the epitome of consistency. Anyhow, the first song we are going to look at so happens to be the first song on the album, 'Sirens' -

They talk about us, not usin the word n***a
I wanna speak about a couple issues much bigger
Like most black folks live below the poverty line
And they wonder why the FUCK we attracted to crime
-Rapper Big Pooh

Pooh nailed it. Focusing on a word (N-word) is a distraction from focusing on the real problem (poverty leading to crime). Now if you go as far as to ban a word, a new word will simply take its place. Let's focus on eliminating the real issues before we focus on eliminating words.

In verse 2, Phonte speaks on the post-Imus crucifying of rap:

They tryin to blame this rap shit for all of our ills
Like I can stick you up with a mic
Like I can rape you with a verse or use a verb as a knife
Like before Kool Herc, everything was all right
Like y'all wasn't callin black women hoes befo' "Rappers Delight"
-Phonte

If hip hop is a reflection of a culture, than it is a product of something that already exists. Essentially, rap is not responsible for misogyny and violence in America - that shit has existed since the dawn of time. So just like with the misplaced attention paid to Nas' N-word, hip hop is also taking shots that should be directed at all of American/world culture and history - not just hip hop.

I say it don't matter if I work at Mickey D's
I still got a fix for what you got between your knees
-Rapper Big Pooh (Don't Go Breakin' My Heart)

If hip hop didn't exist, guess what? Misogyny, violence, and racism still would. 100.

On the Side: Does Little Brother have the best skits in hip hop? They have Dave Chappelle narrating as Phonte's conscience on The Getback, they have a full song from a made up minstrel show performer named Percy Miracles (which actually is surprisingly good) on The Minstrel Show, and on all their skits they just sound like they are having fun, cause after all the bullshit they've been through they still here baby.

Chain of the Day

2008-03-17T07:10:00.000-07:00

and the Holy ghost

Image and Music - Do you have to like both?

2008-03-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I downloaded the Vampire Weekend album after hearing a song on WERS. I listened to the album a few times and liked it - then I saw them on Letterman, the cover of Spin, and finally on SNL. The group looks like your typical pretentious rich college kids who vacation on long weekends and bicker over which type of cheese to bring to a picnic. Basically, I like their music but hate their image and am wondering whether that matters?

If you like a band's music but probably wouldn't want to be friends with the band in real life, are you still a fan? If yes, is there anything lost in not buying into the whole package - both image and music- or can you simply take what you like and leave what you don't?

Conversely, what about artists whose music and image you love but know that in real life they wouldn't be friends with you? One day back in the school cafeteria my friend asked me what was wrong and I told him that I didn't think Young Jeezy would want to hang out with me. At the time, I was listening to Thug Motivation 101 everyday on my walk to class and every night before I went to bed. Jeezy, known more for his ad-libs than his verses, and his claim to not be a rapper but a motivational speaker, has an uncanny ability to fill me with the desire to seize the day like a kid from Newsies. I basically went through a month of life with Young Jeezy as my imaginary life coach - pretending to hear him yell "ha-ha!" and "let's get it!" after every clever thing I said.

Does realizing that in real life Jeezy would probably just cast me aside as a fool mean that I shouldn't be a fan? I don't know why but the answer is no. I'm a Jeezy fan despite the fact that I probably wouldn't even get a nod if we were the only two people in the hallway and I was screaming I'm a T-R-A-P-S-T-E-R. Ha-ha!

On the side: Didn't want to bring this into the discussion - but - can you be a fan of someone like Wagner, who was an anti-Semite, Hitler's favorite composer, and a strongly criticized character in Nietzsche's Human, All too Human? Can you take the music and leave the man? I don't know.

Chain of the Day

2008-03-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

First chain with facial hair.

On the Side: In Fat Joe's new single he asks "how many fat guys fly like me?" Well Rick Ross is clearly as fly, I'd say even more fly, than Fat Joe. Plus, if Eminem really weighs over 200 lbs now, than he is definitely more fly than Joe but I'd still say less fly than Ross.

TRICK LUV THE KIDS

2008-03-12T09:59:00.000-07:00

Alright, the list every one has been waiting for...drum roll please...my top 3 Trick Daddy songs.

3. Take it to the House - The beginning of the whole Slip N Slide movement. Nice use of the "get down" James Brown sample. Only question, did this video come out before or after "Make em say uhhhhh" because they are practically identical, except for the fact that Master P has a tank in his basketball court.

Take it to the House - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPXXjh00XII
Make em say Uh - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jykg9jDI6T8

Best part: when this song came out Trick was definitely hitting Trina while she still had feeling down there.

2. 'Dro in the Wind - Excellent pairing of Trick, Cee-Lo and Big Boi. Good reminiscing joint, Trick talks about back in the day eating sugar water and mayonaise sandwhiches but now it's all good with the top back puffin 'dro in the wind. Best part: Trick says 'Trick loves the kids!' EIGHT TIMES! It is incredible that Trick Daddy never got shit about constantly professing his love for the kids but maybe he is just that baller. I guess Wu-Tang ain't the only ones for the children...(ODB at the Grammy's) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2-5GSjZvW8

1. I'm a Thug: Amazing beat, amazing children sing-a-long chorus (hmm...), and awesome refrain, "baby cause I'm a thug." This song was my ringtone for three years before my phone broke in half. Best part: right before the third chorus Trick yells out "She want a thug!" I don't know, that just always stuck with me.

Sidenote: The titles of Trick's albums are incredible. Thugs R Us and Thug Matrimony: Married to the Streets being my two favorites. I mean, baller move of the week?

Bonus Material: Rick Ross back in the day, shitting on TI and standing up for our boy Trick.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wY2ae_Jxno

Vintage T-Pain?

2008-03-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

T-Pain sucks. He is on your radio every hour talking about the same shit. But at times, he can make an average song dope, like he just did with 2 Pistols. When the song came on I turned to my friend Josh and said listen to T-Pain on the hook, it's vintage T-Pain. Josh laughed at me for thinking there was such a thing as vintage T-Pain but later turned off the radio when "Umbrella" came on, reasoning old-school "SOS" Rhianna was way better. After I got home I got to thinking, is there such a thing as vintage T-Pain? Then I figured I should make a list of my favorite T-Pain songs just to prove to myself, and my friend Josh, that yes, T-Pain is awful, but at times he is dare I say ... classic.

Top 5 Songs with T-Pain

5. Shawty - Plies ft. T-Pain

"I exposed her to the real now she hate lames"

The song starts with two chords followed by a smooth "shawty" from our boy Pain - then it happens. World meet Plies, Plies meet world. Plies systematically destroys his verses by detailing how he turns a good girl with a big ass into a bust it baby freak. At first she is hopeless, but Plies, the man of virtue and patience that he is, takes time to train her - now she's suckin him with ice and talking while she take pipe. Impressive to say the least.

The song spotlights the concept of a shawty. T-Pain sings, "I'm not your man, you ain't my girl, you my shawty." At first I thought my shawty was the same as my booty call but nah, it's more than that. You care about your shawty, you love to show off your shawty cause she gets you right. As for Pain and Plies they got it right with "Shawty."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pxs5EM3xlus

Afterthought: Saddest part of this song is how hard Plies fell off afterwards. I used to be excited when I heard a song begin with "Hey man, it's your boy Plies homie," now I just laugh.

4. Buy U a Drank - T-Pain ft. Yung Joc

"let's get drunk and forget what we did"

T-Pain loves using lines from hit songs - on the recent 2 Pistols song he sings bout 'throwin some D's on it' in the hook. In Buy U a Drank he perfectly uses walk it out and money in the bank for the hook. As for Yung Joc, his verse is totally blah, but the bass of his voice fits the beat perfectly and when he goes in with "meet me at the bar" it's a legit moment. For me, there are two highlights on the song: first, "we in the bed like ooo, ooo" that shit is catchy. But the best part is easily whoever the hell it is in the background that goes "awwwwww snap."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy-nqyfR_w4

3. I'm Sprung - T-Pain

Sitting on a roof, rockin shades and dreadlocks, singing about being whipped - this was the world's first sight of T-Pain. Now, for those that don't know:

1.	sprung
	Falling in love with someone to the point that they are constantly on your mind and you cannot live without them...and your everyday is either good or bad, depending on how it went with her.

Why do I like this song? The last two years, anyone who listens to rap radio stations has been bombarded with T-Pain yellin bout how he is the shit. Yet, his first single ever is his most self deprecating and honest. "I'm Sprung" is about what it's like to be in a relationship that controls your every moment for better or worse. Never again will you hear T-Pain talking about the negatives and reality of a relationship.

Think about it this way, a lot of rappers and R&B singers experience sophmore slumps because after the success of their debut they don't want to do anything but but brag and boast - and that is exactly what T-Pain what has done. Yet somehow, T-Pain started a video for a song that may be his most serious by letting Akon make fun of him! Something that will never happen again because fools like T-Pain are too concerned with image to be real or to even simply laugh at themselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ichSb-1HSiY

2. Good Life - Kanye West

"Now throw your hands up in the sky"

Hands down the best song on the new Kanye album. From the Toomp beat to the cartoons in the video to chopped and screwed Kanye yellin' "more ass than the models" to T-Pain killing the hook - yeah, I kind of like this song (maybe the only good song on Graduation...sorry). Similar to Pain on "I'm Sprung," T-Pain does have an honest moment in which he admits he hasn't always been this cool - "Now my grandmomma aint the only one callin me baby." Just overall solid song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDxr-eakI6U

Afterthought: Is it just me or have Kanye's albums gotten progressively worse yet have been received as getting progressively better?

1. I'm N Luv with a Stripper - T-Pain ft. Mike Jones

First, the beat: solid acoustic guitar sliding behind a simple synth line.

Second, the concept: amazing. All I have to say: just thinking of T-Pain (and millions around the world) drooling at a strip club cracks me up every time. When I read that the song was based on a true story I just sat back and said classic.

Third, Mike Jones: His verse offers nothing. Again, I feel the same way about the Joc verse on Buy U a Drank as I do about Mike Jones on this one - his voice works perfectly with the beat but he says nothing of substance...or even something clever or funny. But I will say this, when the song came out Mike Jones was still somewhat fresh and new and all he had to do was yell Mike Jones and I'd smile through his whole verse.

Lastly, Pain: Perfect use of the vocoder. For the most part of the song T-Pain's voice sounds like a real human voice, with the exception of when he sings "girrrrl" at the end of the beginning of every verse. After this song, T-Pain started relying too heavily on the vocoder. Secondly, aside from the refrain, the best part of the song is easily when Pain sings "I done got her over to my crib to do that night thing" just as the beat fades out before the hook. Vintage T-Pain? I'd say so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs9le1zs0s0